Lost loved one

6.45pm on the 31st December 2 days after her 70 birthday my wife of 52 years passed away after an 8month battle with encephalitis, I was at the hospital every day of the 8months from 7.30am until 6pm I did everything I could to assist her recovery, from helping with personal care, administered her drugs into her PEG and helping with the physio but it wasn’t enough I couldn’t manage to save. I am heartbroken, devastated, lost, I simply cannot accept I’ve lost her


Hello @Kevan. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I also live in Suffolk. It’s so very recent for you that you are probably still in shock. I lost my husband 8 weeks ago and it is truly devastating. I wish I had a magic wand that could ease your pain even slightly but I don’t. In these early days and weeks, it’s important to try to look after yourself and only do what feels right for you. If you want to sleep all day then do so. Grieving is exhausting. It’s exhausting just trying to function from day to day. You sound like you cared for your wife brilliantly and that will bring you comfort in the future. Keep posting and reading on this forum. We all know exactly how you are feeling. I’ve found it invaluable and the support from everyone is wonderful. Sending you a big cuddle and I hope you have good people to support you. Jean xx.


Hello @Kevan
So sorry you have lost your beloved wife and after such amazing care you gave her too. You should be so proud of what you did for her.
There are no words to make this easier on you but know that others on here will try to give you support when you need it.

Just as Jean said, you must now do whatever feels right to you each day, whether that be doing nothing or keeping busy. Accept and help you are offered and be kind to yourself.

I was so lucky when I lost my darling husband last April that the people in the wonderful village I live in rallied round us so much. There was a constant stream of people calling by to see what we needed and bringing various things for us. It had shocked so many people as everyone thought as we did that he was the last person they would have expected to have a heart problem which would take his life.

I hope you will find some peace in time but it is so recent for you that it will take a while to sink in that you have lost your wife I’m sure. The shock will make it all seem so unreal.

Sending you love. xxx