Lost mum and dad within 8 days

I’ve just recently lost my dad, 28th June. He started with short term memory loss and balance issues 7 weeks ago and we took him in hospital for a check over. He literally fell off a cliff in hospital and at the end couldn’t talk or lift a hand to feed himself. Then my world fell apart and we lost him.
8 days later we found my mum dead at her home. (they were divorced for approx 38yrs but got on).
I can’t see a way forward, I’ve lost both parents and life is just a blur now. I honestly believe if it wasn’t for my 7yr old I would end it all today. Life cannot and will not ever be the same. I don’t want it to be. My dads death shook me to the core because of the amazing relationship we had. Now mum’s gone too and the pain of both together is unbearable. Is it too soon to see a grief counsellor. I don’t know what to do

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Hi Nelboy75,

I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your parents. It sounds as though things are very tough and you are feeling really overwhelmed right now.

It sounds like you’re looking for support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.

  • Samaritans (https://www.samaritans.org/) are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.

  • Shout (https://giveusashout.org/) are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything.

  • You can also find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline .

  • If you are at risk of harming yourself, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling.

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.

You deserve care and support so please do get in touch with one of these services.

Take care,


Nelboy, I am so very sorry for you and I do understand, I lost both my parents in law within 28 days of each other and I had been looking after for some years. Death is always a big shock, no matter when or how and that feeling of not wanting to care on is grief. Due to the pandemic the time from asking for help and getting it can be longer than normal and under normal conditions it’s a good few weeks, so I would say it’s never to early. Cruse and this site have counselling and hopefully sometime in the near future it may be face to face which is much better.
Things that can help now is writing about how you feel or writing to either of them. Posting on here. Finding a friend who will listen to you and understand how you feel. Please never think you are alone and if you find life to much then Samaritans on 116123 who will just listen. Please keep posting, everyone on here understand how you feel. Take care and I am thinking of you. S xxx

Hi Nelboy75

Im sorry for your losses. Two years ago I lost my mum suddenly (my dad had died many years earlier) and I rushed straight into bereavement counselling. I was so desperate to feel better and I didn’t know how I was going to carry on without her. My experience was awful. I hated every second of the counseling and believe I tried it too soon.
It is only now, 2 years on that I can even talk about what happened without breaking down and could probably handle counselling now, although I no longer feel the need.
There is a reason why its not recommended within the first 6 months and I learnt that the hard way, by going private and paying for something that hindered rather than helped me.

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