Lost mum at young age

I haven’t yet found anyone in my similar situation I lost my mum in March when I was 17 I’m 18 now my birthday was very hard. Her passing was unexpected, a rare thyroid cancer she went in for a operation me and my 2 sisters didn’t know she had cancer at the time, my mum never used to tell us lots I don’t think she wanted us to worry. She was meant to be in hosptial for 3-4 days wich turned into 4-5 wich then turned into 3 weeks as they couldn’t get her off oxygen. I’m trying to keep my story short and not make people bored but it does feel good to vent. My mum was my absolute world we weren’t ever a lovey dovey family but we had horses and animals I think mum would show her love to us through them and all the other little things she’d do, the 3 weeks she was in a hospital a hour away every day we would visit her i had to leave my job as I spent nearly all day with her. Eventually she moved to a hosptial closer for few days then she came home we had carers in 3 times a day and it wasn’t til i was home by myself with her I saw a folder the nurses left saying that mum had cancer and a do not resuscitate form as resuscitating wouldn’t work cause of the cancer. I think the carers knew me and my sisters didn’t really know what was going on a doctor came round on a Thursday she was very nice but then told us my mum had a few days to a week left wich I was shocked by. On the Saturday my mum passed I knew the day before something was wrong as she slept all day. I had never seen someone pass away before luckily the cares where there when she passed and they where so helpful. It scares me living life without her I sometimes feel so homesick but it felt like she was my home so nothing can cure it I’m glad I have things to be distracted by but being in the house is a constant reminder of her


Hello @User5678,

I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. It sounds as though things are very difficult at the moment and you are feeling scared about the future.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. You might already be familiar with our other Online Bereavement Support services, but if not, you can find out more about our Online Counselling service, our Grief Coach text support service, and our Grief Guide self-help tools by visiting the link.

Another good place to get support is Winston’s Wish - provides grief and bereavement support for children and young people (up to 25) after the death of someone important. They have a helpline that you can call free on 08088 020 021 between 8am-8pm, weekdays. They also have a live chat feature on their website. http://www.winstonswish.org.uk/

Take care - keep reaching out,


I’m so sorry you lost your mum this way. It sounds utterly traumatic and heartbreaking with the little time you were given and warned about. I’m 23 now and lost my mum just six months ago but even with a year and a half of knowing what she had, we were still given no indication that her condition would spiral so quickly and we would lose her. She didn’t have last words and I didn’t even see her on her deathbed.
If the last six months have taught me anything it is lean into your passions and work out how to keep busy in a way that is healthy and helps you to connect with people. You still have your whole life ahead and I know how overwhelming that is to hear but know that she gave you that life to enjoy it as much as you can and take each day at a time.
I’ve been trying new things like women’s basketball and trying new hobbies like crochet and I feel it has helped me find what I enjoy.

Grief is patient. She will wait. You don’t have to ‘do it all now’ especially at our age. Be kind to yourself x


I’m so sorry to hear of your loss at what is truly no age at all. Vent and rant all you want - this is a safe space and it can be useful to write down thoughts and feelings as a way of helping to process them.

I lost my Mum very suddenly with no warning almost six months ago. I was 30, a month shy of my 31 birthday. I feel like a child again, the desperation for her to comfort me and look after me through this pain is overwhelming.

Seek support from good friends - the best ones won’t be scared of your grief. Try to be honest about how you are feeling and how people can help you. The pain is awful and I wish I could take away some of that raw grief from you. Sending you love and kind thoughts.

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Im so sorry for the loss of your mam, my mam was my best friend when she died just after my 30th, on mothers day :joy:, i can only laugh about the irony.
Similarly my situation was over a rapid time frame, in an unpredictable situation. I beat myself up for not noticing the seriousness as im a nurse and just couldn’t see the evidence in front of me at the time.
I equally and thankfully dont have anyone else to connect over this tricky navigation system without some decent guidance from anyone with some wise words. Ive lost my self along the way and hoping to find that again soon.
My life has been frequnted often by my new friend anxiety although im hoping they get a new hobby soon and sod off :sweat_smile:. Thanks for reading.

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Way sorry for your loss. Chin up sweetie :slightly_smiling_face:

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