Lost mum to lung cancer, struggling to cope

My name is Jason, I’m 30 years old and I sadly lost my mum to lung cancer on the 18th August 2023. It was a very traumatic experience to say the least as I watched her suffer into her death at the hospital. What makes it hard to accept was that my mum was only 63 years old when she passed away, a fairly young age. Since the passing I have found it very difficult to live a normal life. I don’t feel happiness anymore even from the things I used to really enjoy doing. I think about all the key life moments in the future that my mum will not get to see (e.g. buying my first home, getting that promotion, marriage, starting my own family etc). On top of this, I don’t have much of a support network. My mum was a single mum as my dad left when I was 6 years old. I’m not close to any aunties or uncles and so really the grief is something I have to deal with myself and that makes me feel very sad inside. I’m lucky to have friends who were there for me but none of them have experienced losing something so close to them. My mum was always there for me whenever I had any issues but sadly she can’t be here now and so I feel very lonely and vulnerable inside. Does anyone have any advice or tips on how I can get through this?


Hi Jason .

It’s still very early days for you . Try not to think too far into the future . Take it day by day .

You are deep In grief so won’t find joy on anything yet .

I too am in early grief after losing my son .

I’ve been told it does get better and we will learn to have moments of joy in the future .

Hold on to your friends for support when you need to .



I feel the same. My mum passed in July. I really resonate with your thoughts about the future and our mums not being present.
It breaks my heart over and over again.


Hi @jason1 I’m so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you were so close to your Mum above anyone else.
It’s sad to think she won’t be here for your key moments ahead like you say.
Grief is a tough journey and you are in the early days so go easy on yourself and recognise that you are having a tough time. :sparkling_heart: I also think there is no quick fix and just putting one foot in front of the other hour by hour, day by day is all you can do.
It’s not the same I know but I am 35 and lost my beloved Gran at the end of July. I was closer to her than anyone in my family which is a small family. She was the one I saw and spoke to the most and had the most unconditional relationship with. I miss her so much and sometimes I wail with tears. The only advice I can offer is to focus on looking after yourself as much as possible with the simple things. I’ve also read a good book called it’s okay to not be okay by Megan Devine.


Hi Tilly,

Sorry for your loss and thank you for the kind advice. It feels very weird for me right now as nothing feels normal and there is a lot of numbness. Not sure if you’re going through something similar but I sincerely hope we both can learn to enjoy life again going forward.


Hi Charlotte - I’m very sorry to here about your mum’s passing. We’re definitely in similar situation and you’re not alone in this!

I’m so sorry to hear this. I also lost my mom who was 62 . She died from cancer in September this year. I am only 32 and am so sad that she will not be there when I start a family.

I lost my dad 8 years ago, and what I have learned is that it will take time, perhaps a lot of it. But there will be a time where you enjoy life again. Try to be kind to yourself in these first few months. Take it day by day and have hope that one day it will get a little easier x


I am also very sorry to hear about your situation, Lydia. It must be a difficult time for you too. I totally feel you when you say that your mum will not be there when you start a family. I have exactly the same thoughts. My mum and I were very close. You could say that I worked hard in life just to see her proud and happy. Now, I sometimes wonder who am I doing all this for. It has almost been 2 months since my mums passing, and you are right, it does get easier. The sadness however has not, and probably will not, go away. We just learn to cope better, or at least that is what I am discovering now. Anyway, thank you for your comments. It’s reassuring to know that I am not alone out there.