Hi sara if your name wasnt at the top of this i would of swore i had wrote it. Im feeling exactly the same. I loat my mam in april and she was my best friend there wasnt a day that we wernt together, the guilt of thinkin u havent done enough eat u up inside regardless of what people
Say. Ive come to realize that it doesnt matter how much we do for our parents, to us it will never seem enough. U will always feel like u could have done more. Im still looking for answers and reasons. Why my mam, why not that old lady down the road, its awful to feel like that but grief does that. I too have kids that want there grandma home. And people say with time it gets easier, me personally every day goes by it gets eorse cos thats another day ive had to spend living without her and seeing her face and my hubby just doesnt understand. Ive also come to realize that no matter how many people are there for you, grieving is a lonely road which only we can walk ourselves for most part. When we grieve we over think everything. The what ifs, the why and the overwhelming feeling of trying to fix it all and bring her back when reality smacks you in the face and you realize u cant fix it u have to learn to livw with how life is. I feel your pain immensly and im sorry ur feeling like this, i dont have ur answers and i wont tell you it gets easier because it doesnt but i do want to say ur not the only 1 that feels this way and venting to people is good, keep ur mams memory alive and do her proud. Im here if you need to vent. Big hugs xxx