Hi loss my wife and soul mate in May this year does it get any easier we were together for 39 years married for 36 years i breakdown at least 5 to 6 times a day
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Hi Rob, welcome to the club that nobody wanted to join. I am glad you found us though, and hope you will find as much support here that I have. I lost my husband in May as well. We were together for 16 years, 24 hours a day. Like you, I have frequent meltdowns. But no matter what you are going through, there is always someone here that understands and will offer support and encouragement.
Love and hugs xx
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Thank you willow112 xx
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Hi @Rob9
I’m afraid you sound quite normal
You will go through so many emotions
It is still very early days for you
I won’t say that the pain will go away but over time you will learn to deal with it.
One day down the line you will realise that you are coping.
I’m 5 months in now, I still have bad days, but I have good or reasonable days too.
I really never thought I’d get this far.
You are not alone
We are all here for you
Love and hugs
Liz x x
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Thank you liro xx
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Hi Rob. I’m so sorry you have lost your wife and when you are so young and would have had so many future plans together still.
I’m almost 5 months in and it really is tough but I’m assured that in time and with some work it does get better.
It’s still early days for you and you will feel so many emotions and be up and down probably several times a day.
Try take one day at a time and if you break down then that’s ok. It’s a reflection of your love for your wife.
Look after yourself.
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Hi Rob,
Sorry for your loss
I also lost my wife we were together 39 y Married for 33 y
I am in the early days as my loss was end June 24.
You are not alone breaking down 5-6 times each day it happens to me evry time I think of her.
I don’t know at times if I have the strength to carry on but in reality we have little option but to brave the pain and hope it eventually gets a bit easier.
All the best
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So very sorry.
It is the toughest thing to deal with.
Meltdowns are to be expected.
Do what you can, take it at your own pace if you can.
My thoughts are with you.
Rose x
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Thank you for all the kind messages and advices im so sorry for your loses , life doesn’t seem fair i miss her so much is it normal to speak to her i have a photograph in the bedroom on her side of the bed a kiss in the morning and one at night ,sometimes i just stare at her and remember all the places we’ve been the fun and laughter we had .xxx
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Hi @Rob9
There’s nothing wrong in talking to her
I talk to Roger all the time.
He’s permanently in my brain.
I also write to him every day.
I tell him all I’ve been up to, and how much I miss him and want him back. I even ask him things.
It’s very often accompanied by tears. But it does help me. It keeps a connection
And yes it’s quite normal to kiss her photo.
I kiss Rogers photo, and I have a tiny little urn with some of his ashes in that I often hold while I sleep
Sending a big hug
Love Liz x x
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Good morning, everyone.
Yes, I talk to him all the time. Asking him how to do jobs that I have never tackled before. Especially when I am driving (I do it, but still very nervous). I ask him to stay with me when I have to drive somewhere new to me.
I write to him every day, sometimes more than once. It’s my form of journaling. I tell him what has happened, how I feel. I know there are photographs upstairs, on my phone, and devices. I don’t know why, but I can’t look at them yet.
I think we should all just do whatever brings us comfort and not push ourselves into doing what is considered right or normal.
Grief is like folding a fitted sheet - nobody knows how to do it properly or neatly.
Xx
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Hi Rob9,
Lost my soulmate of 47 years in February this year. I still have mini meltdowns once or twice a day but I can tell you things are easing. I guess time really is the great healer.
Hang in there, try to be easy on yourself. Early on I found it very easy to beat myself up on the bad days. Which achieved nothing. Go with the flow. Do what you need to on the bad days and try not to feel guilty in the times when it’s not awful.
All the best
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