I lost my beloved grandmother late March. She (and my mother) was my absolute world, 3 generations 30 years apart. Until I broke that trend. I am 32 and haven’t managed to have a family. I don’t even have a partner. I always hoped I would before losing her, then there would be something hopeful for me to focus on, I would have a future, and a family moving forwards.
I grew up on the next street to her, and her house was an extension of ours. She was there on my first night of my life, first and last day of school, every school play, my graduation, first job…everything. It was always ‘us three’, even though I now live away (I actually live overseas, have a good job, am very independent but I traveled back regularly).
Our family is not close and I feel like I have lost a major part of me, one consistent thing that I had. My uncles and their families are far too busy ‘living their lives’ to be bothered with us and my poor gran knew that. I hate that she was disappointed that the family didn’t come together in her last month. Mum was stuck with all the caring, the rest carried on with holidays and having fun. They wouldn’t dream of sharing their part of the inheritance with her even though my poor mum had to give up work to care for gran and is now so worried about making ends meet.
I also hate how gran died in huge discomfort, she suffered so much as she caught an infection on top of her heart failure and old age and it was so horrible to watch. I had to sit beside her and try and stop her pulling her cables out, she couldn’t speak, it was so undignified. When she did pass, I helped the nurse get her into a more dignified position. It was the least I could do for her.
Sorry this is so rambling. I am just so tired, and so sad. I still have mum, and our lovely dog, and a lot of friends. Please be kind.
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So sorry for your loss. Your gran sounds just like how my mum was with my son (he is only 12 tho) but she was there from day 1 when he was born right up until we lost her at the end of December. It’s a special bond that you will cherish, he talks about the two of them and what they did and they spent so much time together I see certain habits that she did he will do.
Family can be something else, I am fortunate that mine are there as its just me and no siblings but my mums sister who I was told was heart broken when she heard hasn’t even reached out.
You gave your gran dignity at the end and you need to remember that and just be there for your mum. You can both hold your head high and remember the good times.
Valda