Hello everyone. I don’t know where to start really.
I lost my Mum suddenly on 22nd Nov and her funeral was on 17th Dec.
I feel like I’ve been running on autopilot since then and feel I’ve had to be strong for my Son and my Brother. My Husband has been wonderfully supportive but I still feel like I cannot come to terms with her loss. It’s like Im living in a bubble and don’t want to step outsidr it because then I will have to accept whats happened and I don’t think I can.
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Sorry to hear about your mum x
I have no pearls of wisdom to unfortunately offer you as I am struggling to accept and see a way forward myself after my mum died in Dec.
All I can offer is a sympathetic ear and shoulder to lean/cry on and this is a great place where there is a lot of support x
Take care of yourself for a while,
Suzanne
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So sorry to hear the loss of your Mum.
I lost my Mum on the 20th November very suddenly. Totally out of the blue. I’d seen her that day.
Like you very much on auto pilot. I don’t think I have come to terms with her being gone. I know she is gone but it seems like I’m still in shock.
Take care of yourself x
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Thank you. Take care of yourself too x
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Thank you. I know I need to grieve but Im just not reqdy to yet if that makes sense? X
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Makes total sense. Just take your time. Something I’ve learnt from reading is there is no timeline and no order in which you should feel things. Just keep talking about her 
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Hello Janey .
I lost my mum june 2021 and i am still struggling . Its different for all of us and it takes as long as it takes , there is no set amount of time . Talk about how you are feeling , cry when you want to and don’t be afraid to ask for professional help if you need it . I am on antidepressants and having counselling . Take care of yourself . Sending you love and strength.
Angie xx
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Thank you and sorry for your loss too x
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Hi Janey and others, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mum in August 2021 and (I’m crying again), I am really struggling with the reality that I will never see her face again. I will never get to laugh with her again (and we used to laugh so much), I spent every day with her and if I wasn;t with her, we were on the phone. I thought i was doing ok (ish) but since Christmas I feel like I’m drowning in grief. I have been strong for my two brothers, and for my two children but I feel like I am on autopilot and putting a brave face on when I step outside but as soon as im on my own, i fall apart. I don’t have any motivation (unless its to eat!) Its so bloody hard.
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Hi lovely, yep thats me. The hardest part for me is around 7.15am cos that’s when I always phoned her to see what sort of night she’d had and usually have a whinge about Emmerdale lol. I don’t have that now and it’s so hard. We used to phone each other throughout the day too and if I wansnt at her flat, my Brother was. I know in time it will get easier but atm it isnt x
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Hey Angie, I’m so sorry for your loss. Its such a struggle and I agree, everyone grieves differently. I do think mothers and daughters (not all, and I apologise if I offend anyone), but most mothers and daughters have a strong bond. My mum was a single parent and I never really knew my dad, so she was both parents to me. It’s so hard but your advice is right, just cry, talk and do what feels right. Just be kind to yourself xx
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Hi Janey,
I am sorry for your loss. It must have been a terrible shock being so sudden. I think having your son and brother to focus on will help you somehow in some small way.
I lost my dad in 2013 after a short illness and when we lost him I immediately took up the role of caring for my mum. I think this somehow helped us through in a strange way. This week my mum passed away. She had mnd and pneumonia and after caring for her last week in hospital she was allowed home and became worse until yesterday morning passed away after having a dose of morphine by the paramedics. I know she was very poorly, but I still blame myself for being the one that called them and them giving her morphine. Now she has gone and I really do not know if I will recover.
I am not sure if we ever accept our loss but somehow just deal with it day to day.
Take care x
Dear Janey
I’m sorry to hear about your loss and know exactly how you feel . As I feel as you do almost two years on from loosing my mum still .
I’ve had counselling but of course can’t say it helps I wonder at times if anything helps as I relive the happiness and past I felt when she was alive . I just felt content and whole knowing I had my mum no matter what shit happened in life . I thought I was stronger than I thought having been both a OT and geriatric social worker covering disability and illness and ageing for 20 years . Seeing death and decline but when mum died from lung cancer ( non smoker for most of her life ) I could no longer continue in that profession . Not so much that I did not love working with old people but knowing that people were luck of drawer as to what carers they got and care call whittled down to 20 minutes rather than the full hour charged to clients . Believe you me working for LA for 20 years I challenged this unfairness almost on a weekly basis but the system wins . So I knew when mum was in stage 4 I willingly gave up my job to look after her as I knew the failings in the system . It proved the right thing to do as even though I was no longer registered my mums assessments and communication between the health professionals was very poor and I was pretty deflated having to declare my profession to get the things done that should of been in their remit as professional . This I might add included her family GP ! So of course I mull over that aspect . Like you I have a supportive husband but at times it’s difficult putting on a show of feeling ok because I don’t . I think loosing your mum especially ((and I say this as a gay male ) so can equate to closeness of mother and daughter relationship leaves you feeling like an observer of life rather than a participant in life 
I hope and try new things to do but the void is miserable . But Janey we all have to go on so I say to you give yourself no limitations with your grief and as painful as it is to relive the raw loss embrace how much you loved your mum and she you . I know and saw so many elderly estranged from loved ones and I count my blessings that I had such a good relationship with my mum albeit she was very strong willed and fiercely independent . I send you virtual hugs at this sad time and hope you manage life on a day to day basis as that’s the best advice I can give David
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I too spent all my time with my mum,she had been so I’ll for the past two years and has been in and out of hospital,which has been horrendous,as we haven’t been allowed in,and have wasted a whole year begging to spend time with her in hospital,worse year of my life,I’m dying in side because I can’t speak to her as we talked about everything,and she was my best friend too,I wish there was a magic wand to take away the pain I really do
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Oh Moragh I understand completely x silly things that you would normally have told her or taken a photo of to send…truly exhausting this grieving lark.
I hope you have family and friends to lean on. I know it doesn’t stop that feeling but may lessen it some on certain days.
Suzanne x
Just new to this group. Reading through posts and yours struck a chord with me.
I lost my Mam 6 years ago. Time has not healed in fact has made me feel worse.
Like yourself I felt complete when she was in my life. She could make me feel better whatever the situation. Now my life also has a huge void, it’s like the best part of me is gone. I truly think I will never be happy again. I’ve done counselling, meds etc but nothing will make me feel better except having her in my life. My husband is not supportive but my 2 adult daughters and amazing friends are great but I don’t think they really know how I feel. I’ve recently been put on sick from work( 2 months ago) as I felt I was falling apart and although not suicidal just felt I did not want to be here anymore. As a strong person who has always had people rely on me I feel so weak pathetic embarrassed even. Can’t see the end of this. Surely my life isn’t going to be like this forever.
I’ve ran away to Turkey to work in a dog shelter I’m heavily involved with. Was going to come for a week and now been here 4 weeks with still no flight booked to go home. I’m dreading going home, it’s where feelings are real and don’t think I can deal with it
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