I lost my best friend to suicide and helped to carry his coffin and my cousin also committed suicide the same day I have this on my mind everyday and also we have a 94 yr old mother in law living with us that is dying from mixed dementia so I have to be strong for my wife who cries most nights with all this going on in my head Trying to explain to someone what is going on in your head when you have no idea yourself seems impossible, so I try not to burden anyone with my problems. I’m trying to hold myself together but each day it gets harder because no matter how many people I have around me that love me, I still feel alone. I’m a broken man, drowning in my own thoughts struggling to keep my head up struggling to breathe. Knowing I need help but not being able to ask for it makes the pressure unbearable sometimes 
I just want the pain to end
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Hello @Jamesp1,
I’m so sorry for your losses - you are coping with so much at the moment. I can see that @Alex shared some links on your other thread. I also wanted to share these resources with you as I know that members who have also been bereaved by suicide have found them helpful.
- Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide offer support to people over 18 who have been affected by suicide.
- Support after Suicide has a list of local and national support
Remember if you ever want to talk, you can call the Samaritans any time on 116 123, or email jo@samaritans.org.
Do take care - keep reaching out,
Seaneen
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Two suicides and a mother in law with dementia. That’s a lot to deal with and you are bound to be struggling. Take time to be kind to yourself.
Thank you I am trying. Slowly slowly the tablets are helping me to start dealing with it .
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Yes, keep talking - it helps so much