Lost my best friend, my dad

On Wednesday 30 March I received the devastating news that my Dad has cancer that had metastasized onto several of his organs and spine. Last Thursday, 7 April he passed away. I have been off work since finding out the news (Thurs 31 March). I am supposed to be back tomorrow but I am in such a state I have texted saying I cannot and will be in on Wednesday. I only started the job recently and feel terrible about this. Should I? Do you think I’m going to lose my job? He died at home as he requested, the death itself was peaceful but the 8 or so hours prior were horrible (death rattle and Cheyne–Stokes followed by apnea) I am pretty traumatise. I am 28 and have never experienced anything like this before

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Hello,

I’m sorry for your loss and what you have been through.

As for work, you go back when you are ready to. Do you get any sick pay? Maybe if you need to, see if you can get signed off. You need to do what is right for you.

My mum passed suddenly 8 weeks ago. It was right at the start of 2 weeks annual leave I’d booked off. But I’ve not been back since. Just cannot face it right now. I have been signed off. When I’m ready to go back I will. I don’t want to leave it too long as I know if will help to be back there at some point. But I need to be stronger first.

You need to do whatever is right for you right now.

Nic x

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Hi, I lost my Dad on 22nd March and can relate to how you are feeling right now. I just don’t know how life will ever seem “normal” again right now. What I have learnt so far on this journey is no two days are the same. I have really bad days but others are better and I think this is all normal for most people. I have found talking to people who have lost a Parent really helps as they understand completely where I am coming from. Although people who haven’t lost a Parent are supportive to a point I find I often in my head sit there and think how do you know, you’ve not been where I am (I then feel bad). As for work, I have signed myself off for a further two weeks as I just have no concentration right now and feel emotionally unstable a lot of the time. Grief is overwhelming and I wish I could be more positive in my reply. What I do know is that in time I believe with good support I will be ok, life won’t be easier as some people tell me, it will be different and I hope I can learn to accept that moving forward.

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Your reply is more positive than you realise. Sorry for your loss.
Nic x

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