im only just 18, she was 18 at the time… she committed suicide about 8 months ago now and i still struggle with the loss. i feel very out of my body and feel almost not real anymore, i have noone else to lean on other than my partner but i think even he realises that her death has changed my ways, ive been broken up about it since it happened and it seems like none of our mutual friends care anymore, like im the only one who actually remembers she doesnt exist anymore. i never actually met her in person as i live halfway across the country, so ive never seen her in real life, which is what hurts the most. my life is in shambles and i dont know how to cope with it? if that makes sense? grief has enveloped me and im sat in my room at 2am with all of my stuff scattered on my bed and floor, i just dont want to anything anymore 
Hello @amber.s,
Thank you for reaching out. I’m so sorry for the loss of your best friend. I can hear the pain in your words and want to reassure you that you’re not alone.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to share these resources that can help you cope with grief.
- Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide offer support to people over 18 who have been affected by suicide. They have a supportline on 0300 111 5065 and run support groups nationally.
- Support after Suicide has a list of local and national support.
You might also want to explore our Online Bereavement Support, where you find our Grief Guide self-help platform, our Grief Coach text support service, and how to access our Online Bereavement Counselling.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Seaneen