I lost my big brother in June and still not coping some days better than other but still feel really lost he was homeless only 48 we tried so many times to help him when I was a kid he was my hero as I’m 10years younger he looked after me a lot when my parents where going through a divorce I feel guilty for feeling like this taking it out on my husband can’t really talk anywhere as no 1 understand well that’s how it feels 
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Hello @Skippyk ,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling lost. I’m so sorry to hear about your big brother. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
You might also find this Sue Ryder article helpful: Sibling loss: Coping with death of your sister or brother | Sue Ryder
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex
I am so sorry that your big brother died. It must have just torn your heart to pieces. I am so sorry that he was homeless and helpless to save himself. I am sure you have worried yourself sick over his situation and have cried many a night wondering if he was okay.
His suffering is over. He is free of whatever demons he held inside. Try to not let them jump on you. Your husband is innocent so please don’t take out your pain on him. It isn’t fair.
You couldn’t save him. I know you tried, but sometimes our best efforts and intentions are fruitless. Do not feel guilt for not being able to perform a miracle.
Pray for him. Talk to him. Mourn for your loss and his life that should have been.
The love between a brother and a sister is never ending. Carry that love with you.
Hugs.
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