Hello I am new to this group. My brother passed 4 weeks ago. The funeral was a week ago. I have never felt pain like this before. I cannot work and I feel anxious all the time. I cannot bear to look at a picture of him without crying. My mother lost her son which should never happen. Feel angry about it.
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Hello this is my first post.
I feel your pain. I am the mother of son who died at 28. I did not get a chance to say goodbye. I have two other sons who lost their brother one is very similar to you he cant deal with the grief which is only 4 days old.
I can’t eat, l can’t go on.
You are not alone my love lve described my situation not for pity but to give you comfort that others do feel your pain and they know exactly how you feel.
Take each day, each minute at a time and talk to others. I have decided on counselling so maybe that will help.
Keep strong through the rough days. Always here to listen x
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My sister is terminally ill and in the process of passing and I feel a similar pain, completely indescribable. You are loved. It is okay to feel angry. Pm if you need anything anytime. xx
Lauryn
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Thank you for your reply, I do feel your pain and your sons pain. I am trying to take one day at a time. I am meant to be going back to work next week but don’t think I can, not with Christmas coming up. I don’t want to celebrate Christmas without my brother. I would like counselling but they all do it on line and I would like to see someone face to face. I watched my brother die as he died at home instead of going into a hospice. It was heartbreaking. He had cancer in 2019 and he fought that. It was such a relief for the family. Then he had sepsis twice he fought that. Then he went into liver failure this year and was told he would not make Christmas. He died 3 weeks later. He was talking one week then his speech went and his mobility he later in bed with us feeding him. We all watched him lay there in a state of unconsciousness sleeping. Nurse said he may be aware you are there. I held his hands and kept telling him I loved him. He died that night. That horrible phone call he had passed.
Oh my love sounds heart breaking. Your bond was so special, you were there when he needed you most. You are a very special one of a kind sister and what a lucky brother is was… he is now a beautiful angel who knew he was loved. Looking down he will be saying he was so lucky, so lucky you had each other.
One if my sons is 25 and he is struggling as they were so close. Before my eldest passed in London they talked daily as we are from Bristol. He is not showing his grief to try and be strong for us but we are already broken people to go through this.
You need a plan, a plan of things you want to do…go do them for him. I’m sure he would want that.
I’m joining a group of local people who have gone through a similar sadness. Then l’m volunteering to help the lonely. We are lucky to have loving family and friends but there are people who are suffering alone.
Not sure why but l was drawn to your message, l’ve never written like this to a person lve never met. l hope in some way my eldest is with your brother and having a good old natter.
Take care my friend, you have got this. You sound a strong woman who is so loving you can’t cope with the grief but the brief is what makes you such a wonderful human being.
I’m always here x
Aww thank you for your reply. You too sound such a special lady. It wouldn’t suprise me if my brother was chatting to your son, he made friends with everyone he came in contact with. You sound so caring, you are going through so much heart break and are prepared to help other people. Xx
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Thank you for your message. If you too want to talk pm me. It’s such a painful process which only people understand if they are going through it. Xx
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Oh my lovely it’s so awful. Can’t face xmas. Just want m y brother back I would give anything to see him one more time. It hurts so so much. Xx
Yes it does hurt so much would love to see mine as well. I really understand how you feel. Just take one day at a time that is what I am trying to do. Xx
I nursed him for 8 weeks. The best 8 weeks of my life. He trusted me so much to give him end of life care. Sometimes my heart hurts so much. I try to be positive and happy but it is just to hard. I am moving house can’t stand my back room. He passed away in there. I brought him home to die but you know how it is I thought a few good meals. He had only been given two days to live but after a few weeks I kept thinking they had made a mistake. But not so. Why does life have to be so cruel x
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Hi
I also lost my older brother 5 weeks ago, it was suddenly… He’d only been ill a short while & like you my mum has lost her son. I dont really know what to write,… except for… I really do understand as in the same boat. Im heartbroken & devastated. I feel so sad all the time. Im sorry for your loss xx