Lost my brother

Hi im new to here i lost my brother 11 months ago and it still feels raw to me whilst grieving i went through a bad time at work but its coming up 12 months and it feels as raw now as it did then we didnt get a funeral as he wanted a direct cremation so feel like i have never had that goodbye. People seem to think it shouldn’t, and i should be getting over it, but i can’t seem to be getting my head round it

Im so sorry to hear this! Is there another way you can say goodbye to your brother? You have your own way then and you have that closure? Never let peoples opinions affect you because griefing hits people different. I wont say it gets easier it doesnt but you learn a way to get by your days! I lost my dad and two of my grandads and i still think im not over it but do we really get over losing someone? No we dont we just learn to accept and keep on going for them! Stay strong :heart:

Thank you for replying we are looking at going for a meal or something on his anniversary

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Awh lovely that would be so nice to do!

hello, I am so sorry for your loss. I also lost my brother 14 months ago and it isn’t getting easier. Some days I think it improves slightly and then I am wracked with guilt for laughing or having fun. Maybe it will never get easier, I doubt I will ever get over it. I wonder if you could plant a tree or a rosebush or something and think of him being there with you. I am planning to do this when the time is right, but it is too raw for me still. I agree that people think you should be over it but it is impossible, it is in your thoughts with every waking moment. Try and stay strong

Hi thank you for replying i am the same i feel guilt at being able to carry on and still do things it iis 1 year next week we was all going out to do something but my sister is in hospital poorly so dont think we will till she is better. I have a bracelet i wear with his ashes in and i have his ashes with me people think oh that will help but i dont want ashes i want him here with us i would of given anything to give my mum 5 minutes with him hope your coping ok

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I lost my Jay last May - I feel nauseous every time I think about the upcoming year marker. The family observed his birthday last weekend - he would have been 53. I am still completely shattered by Jay’s absence, angry that he has been separated from his three kids. Some days I move through with relatively “easy” detachment, others I’m right back at the hospital. I am so sorry for your loss, and I’m sorry that there aren’t more adequate words to express the desolation.

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I think the only we can do is keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep going im some way, even though we will never be the same. It helps i think if you have routine and have to get things done so just get on with it. That is exactly what my brother didnt have, he loved work but never held a routine job down for long due to his illness and life must have been such a struggle for him sometimes, i wish i had seen this at the time instead of trying to come up with solutions to his problems but realised that his mind was not in a good place and he couldnt do normal day to day stuff. I feel i have been so blind. Sorry im going on again about the same thing, i go over and over it all day but we cant change the past. Only cherish their love and memories. I read that grief is love with nowhere to go which did give me some comfort. Take care xx