Lost my dad 3 weeks ago

I’m really struggling, I lost my dad 3weeks ago, it was suddenly, he wasn’t poorly and he died at hospital an hour after I spoke to him via test message. He told me he loved me and he was OK just waiting for a scan and I can’t seem to stop crying. I’m trying to be there for my mum and support her but I feel like I’m not doing enough for her!
It doesn’t seem real I keep thinking he’s still there and then it hits me that he’s gone. We were really close we had nicknames for eachother and I miss him so much it really hurts. I have this black hole feeling in my heart and I don’t know how to cope with it.


Dear Livs,
I am really sorry for your loss and your struggling. These must be such a raw to feel a black hole in your heart. I feel the same in my heart. These strong bonds won’t ever break. My father died almost 3 months ago, but I think he is here somewhere. We were very close too, like you and your lovely dad. I am crying a lot as well. And yes, if we are struggling as well, it is difficult to help, support the other parent. But I think it is already good that we are here, and she can cry with us or talk with us. To write here or talk a lot can help a little, I think. If you would like to chat with me, please, do, I will check it every day, I will write back to you. Sending you hugs.


Thank you Apu
They really are raw and I don’t know how to cope with it, you always know this day will come eventually but I wish I could of been prepared so I could understand these feelings a little more.
I’m so sorry for your loss aswell, I’m not religious or spiritual but I wish I was, I know I’d take comfort in believing he’s around me, and I know for a fact he’d be saying chin up Spud don’t cry you’ll carry me with you forever but I just don’t feel anything but emptyness. X

Livs, I was worried about my father 20 years ago, when he had a very serious illness, but he was cured from it. But I was worried and I though I wouldn’t be exist without him. And when he suddenly died (we had hope, I though that they will cure him), I wasn’t prepared, but I think I never would be prepared.

I am not spiritual as well, and my father wasn’t. It would be easier with faith, I think so. I am trying to tell myself that our time, in our life we did our best, but I don’t believe yet, and I feel that time can’t be enough, we always need more and more to be with your loved ones. So my heart hurts, I am very, very sad.

I’m so sorry to hear of your loss.
I lost my dad two and a half years ago. I lost my mum to cancer in 2016.
I’m sending you some virtual hugs. Perhaps you could keep a diary. I have my dad’s old clock which I speak to if I need to tell him something.
Play music, speak to your mum. Do whatever you need to do. You have support on here if you need it
Wishing you all the best
R xx

1 Like

Sorry for ur loss,
I know exactly how u feel…I lost my mam suddenly in March this year. Totally without warning, here one day gone the next, she was 62. I’m an only child and only have my dad as family. When my mam died I couldn’t believe it was real I still don’t want to. Me and my dad tried to support each other…I felt like I wasn’t doing enough either but I was overwhelmed and struggling with my own grief. Days are hard to help myself never mind others. I was making his meals and trying to make sure we were eating a little bit, it was like I’d took over a parent role. Adrenaline got me through the first 2 month. It’s hard everyday being on my own no kids, no family just my dad xxx


I’m really truly sorry for your loss love, being an only child must be hard on you and your dad, I have 3 older sisters so we support our mum pretty well, just don’t feel like we do enough as we can’t replace my dad. It was definitely here one day gone the next, I only spoke via text an hr before I got the call he’d passed away! I go to my mums everyday sit with her and keep her company and try to calm her when she cries, and I try and grieve myself but it’s difficult to get my head round the situation and disbelief it’s happened.
Please don’t hesitate to message if you need to talk

You aswell, thank you. I’m glad u have your sisters around u for support with ur mam. I lost my nan 14 years ago but it was nothing compared to loosing my mam. Talk to ur sisters and Mam and share memories of ur dad. Me and dad used to talk about our emotions and about her all the time but then slowly stopped, out of fear of not wanting to upset each other I think. I’m finding grief one big hard rollercoaster, adrenaline gets u through the first month or 2 till things settle a bit. I still cry often. She’s one big miss. Xx