Hi - not sure where to start as still feel incredibly numb. My dad had a heart attack two weeks ago,he had a stent fitted and spent a week in hospital. Very breathless but genuinely on the mend. They discharged in at 6pm on Friday 30/04.
My sister and I went to pick him up, very tired and sore but in good spirits,gave us cuddles told us he loved us. He was sprightly as he went upstairs to go to the loo. (7.50)Next came the most agonising yelp and we ran upstairs , still cant get the image out of my head. We tried to save him till the ambulance came ,they worked on him for over an hour then blue lighted himto the hospital. At 9.40 the doctor broke the news that he has gone.
I am the eldest sister and trying so hard to be strong, but i am completely numb, not sleeping ,paranoid that the ache i feel in my chest and body is a heart attack too.
I am so scared ,he was my best friend and cant imagine a life without him.
Sorry for the detail, just writing it down and telling people who dont know me etc might help me get it all out.
A x
Hi Me,
I’m so sorry to hear about the sudden death of your Dad, what a shock for you both, especially as you thought he was on the mend, I know it easy for me to say but it is early days, you are still in shock and you are remembering every thing very vividly, for your Dad it was a wonderful way to go, but for the people left behind not so, he knew you loved him and he told you the same, hang onto that, it will get easier but very slowly, take a day at a time even an hour at a time, sending love Jude xx
Thank you for the reply Jude, i’m really trying to do that but feel so alone now. Cant imagine my life without him xx
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Hello Me1979
So sorry for your loss.
Grief is very painful, your heart is broken and your head feels like it is going to explode with all the emotions racing around.
I was in shock for weeks after my partner died at 56 from covid. He was my rock, I cry every day for him, I yearn for him. I feel so lost and empty without him and the overwhelming sadness I feel is torture.
Please know you are not alone, we all understand your pain on here. There are some lovely people on here who will try to help you.
Sending a hug
Amy x
Thank you so much Amy, i am so sorry for you loss.
Really am just taking it hour by hour at the moment. Its the panic that comes over at night that scares me, the lump in my throat that makes it difficult to swallow, the worrying about my breathing. Wondering if the ache in my heart is a heart attack too. I have read that all of this is anxiety but just wondered if anyone else experiences it too?
A x
Hello
In the early days I thought I was having heart attacks and my heart really hurt and I could feel palpitations. The emotions we are dealing with has a huge impact both mentally and physically on our body.
I did have panic attacks for the first 6 weeks especially at night, I found breathing exercises helped, you can find how to do them on the NHS website. I literally counted and concentrated on the breathing as I was getting in a right state. I have some bouts of panic and I have to distract myself by doing something, I know this might not work for everyone but it helps me.
Maybe give your Doctor a call and see what they say.
Amy x
So sorry for your loss. Unfortunately my daughter who is 22 is in the same situation her dad my husband passed away last April age 47 from multiple cancer’s which were only diagnosed 6 weeks before he passed away. He was sat on the edge of the bed and just collapsed into my daughter’s arms and we gave him CPR for half an hour the paramedics arrived attached a heart monitor 1 last heartbeat then nothing they said they weren’t going to try and bring him back because it would have been cruel. My daughter is like you she is having flashbacks, nightmares because of how it went. I’m wheelchair bound and was shielding so my daughter sorted out the funeral and saw him at peace in the first week but he wasn’t cremated for 4 weeks and saw him after 3 weeks and he wasn’t embalmed she’s haunted by what she saw. I don’t know what to do to help her she’s heartbroken. I hope you find some peace in that your dad passed at home not alone in hospital especially with the restrictions on visiting. He is in no pain and he will always be there in your hearts and memories and he’s still kept alive when you talk about him and pass in stories. My daughter has been helped by buying a book and jotting down memories, funny stories all the stuff they did together and she can pass that down to her children. Maybe if you do something similar it may help. God bless, take your time grieve in your own time and at your own pace and remember that you can always talk her this community is so supportive. Take care xx