It’s been a year now since my dad suddenly passed. He didn’t live in the U.S, he was living in Honduras, i grew up with him till about 11 years old till Mom & dad got a divorce and he decided to move. I went to Honduras twice to see him & when I was 16 I caught up with him, but at 18 i lost him, and this is profoundly painful. I moved out my house a few weeks after his death, leaving me feeling hopeless, without parents, no one to run to, I’ve found lots of refuge in Jesus Christ (that’s my belief) & I still feel I don’t have anyone to talk to, I really wish he was still here bc sometimes I can’t handle everything at my age I make mistakes and feel as if everyone judges me, my family barely talks to me, my mother is never there she actually she’s very hateful and mean things about my dad since they didn’t end in good terms; so hopefully this helps me I really miss you daddy, I love you forever…
Sorry for your loss. I lost my dad too for over a year now. Try not to focus too much on your mum’s reaction and think about the love for our dad that could never be taken away from you. What we’re going through is the hardest thing. I’m glad you can find comfort in religion and do cherish that as that could be a great support - I don’t and actually lost my faith when my tragedy started as I cannot believe any god could make good people go through this.
Please know that you’re not alone in your grieving and in this great website people do support each other a lot. Sometimes only a word or reading that others feel similarly can help. I hope you feel better as much as possible.