Lost my dad and my grandma within 10 days of each other

Only joined the site tonight appologies ive no idea how long this post will be.2 days after my birthday in 2017 my dad came round with my mum to tell me he had been told he had bowel cancer and it had gone to his liver and a bit on his lung. He told us that there was nothing they could do and that it was just a case of treating him as long as they could to try and give him as much time as possible ( he didn’t want to know how long left he had) to look at him he looked so well and I couldn’t believe what he was telling me. He did so well with his chemo and it even shrunk too this gave me false hope in a way I started to believe that they had got it wrong. He was that well he was still working running round after his grandchildren and being our dad. It wasn’t until he started to feel really sick and dizzy as though he had been out on a massive bender that we found he had spots on his brain. This then was the start of him deterating. He was given radiotherapy and we were still hopefull that we could have this big family holiday to Spain for his 60th birthday in May 2018. He ended up really poorly and being admitted to christies just before his 60th birthday but he wasn’t gonna let that spoil it we celebrated on his actual birthday rather in the local restaurant we had hired we brought the party to him in the garden of christies it was beautiful. He then told the docs he would be going to Spain to celebrate his 60th and we went and had the most fab time. While all this was going on his mum my grandma had fallen and broken her hip she had abit of a dodge heart but it was monitored and under control she then had a operation to pin it. We then found out it had been pinned wrongly and she would have to have it 'repinned. My grandma never got to see her son celebrate his birthday. Things took a turn for the worse with my gran and she ended up really poorly and died we are now having to have an inquest into her death and the hearing should be tomorrow but the coronor wasn’t happy with the evidence the hospital gave and it’s been postponed. When we got back from Spain my dad a few weeks later had a seizure they had to pull over in the ambulance and restart his heart. We were told to prepare for the worst and he would not wake up my dad being the man he was did wake up! But then a week later pasted away. My grandma died on 29th June 2018 and on the 9th July 2018 my dad died. The last few weeks I’ve been struggling so much with it all I keep feeling like i can’t breath and my hearts pounding I keep breaking down in tears at work and I don’t want to do anything at all. If it wasn’t for my kids and my husband I don’t know where I would be. I just feel so down angry and just want to stay in bed. I’m not sleeping. I seem to be getting worse everyday.

Thank you so much for replying back to me Sheila I will start to speak to my kids about my dad and my grandma thanks again for you help in what helped you xx