I lost my Dad suddenly just over a month ago. I’d seen him 2 weeks previous and didn’t know that was the last time I’d ever see him. It breaks my heart to think I’ll never see him again so I try to push that out my mind but realistically I know I need to come to terms with it and accept that he’s gone. We didn’t get to have a proper funeral and only 6 people could attend due to coronavirus with no wake. I feel lucky we even got that at this stage but I still feel angry and like we couldn’t even give him the send of he deserves. Being in lockdown has made things a lot more difficult I think and I hate the fact that it feels like everyone has forgotten because there’s so much else going on which then makes me feel selfish as people are going through their own hell at the moment. I’m just battling with so many emotions and I don’t know the best way to move forward…
Hi Cass
very sorry about the loss of your dad. I also lost mine suddenly last summer.
It is the worst thing to experience. No one can make you feel better but talking to other people over time seems to help a lot with the feelings that you may be experiencing.
The best advice that i received is to be extra kind to yourself. Try not to be a people pleaser at this moment you need whatever you need. Its important because the little things feel like big things - nothing makes sense anymore. The world has lost its color. If you dont take the care that you need, it gets impossible to navigate.
Time does dull the ache, and eventually, you will find some peace.
Ell
Thanks for your message Ell, I think you’re right about being kinder to myself and giving myself some time out. In some ways lockdown has been the best way for that with no expectations from any other parts of my life. Sorry to hear about your loss as well and thank you for your message
@Cass hey Cass, I’m so sorry for your loss. The world is an awful place sometimes and there are just no words that will make you feel better just now. It’s been 5 months since I lost my Dad and he was everything to me. My whole world. The day Dad died, half of me died with him. You’ll feel a lot of mixed emotions and my best advice is to go with it. Sudden deaths hit a whole different part in your heart, my Dad suffered with Emphysema but it was a heart attack in the end - I found him at home. The shock will send you to crazy town and everyone else can back me up there. One thing I can say definitely is you are not alone. You’re not going crazy. Your feelings and thoughts are valid. Be so very kind to yourself. Take it minute by minute and let it all out whenever it comes.
My inbox is always open if you want to talk to someone that’s going through it. I found that the only kind of helpful thing.
Take care
Best wishes x