Lost my dad nearly 3 weeks ago, im so dazed

Hi there, im not sure where to turn to,my dad passed away very suddenly on the 5th of jan, he was 69 years old.Ive had moments of sadness but i feel so numb and like its not real its not happening to me,i dont feel i am reacting the right way,me and my dad were very close, i saw him and my mum twice a week at least we went on holidays together 2 last year alone .
Its not like expect him to walk through the door and tell me to out the kettle on as he always did, but its not like i think of him being completely gone .

Sorry to hear your sad story, I lost my dad in march 2017 to cancer which brought on a stroke.
I thought I was acting selfishly when he died, just by trying to look after me.
I didn’t listen to anyone.
You need that time on your own to register your grief.
A year has almost passed since my dad passed away and I am going to see if I can bring myself to scatter his ashes in a bird sanctuary near Blackpool in march.
I hope I can do it but will have to wait and see.
I hope you find peace, if not im here if u want to chat.


Hi jojo

Don’t worry about what you are meant to feel and when. Your emotions are unique and they will come and go as they need to.

Just be kind to yourself and be patient. My hero of a dad died in May 2017 and unfortunately I haven’t had the time to grieve as straight away after my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer so I’ve been busy caring for her ever since.

The only thing I know is that I haven’t lost the love for my dad and the feeling of love i got from him so not all is lost in death.

Take care of yourself

Ann x

I relate to what you say. I lost my mum in October. It still doesn’t quite seem real. How could my mum not be here?

It is very recent for you and you will be disbelieving of what has happened which is to be expected in these early days.


Thank you all for your kind words.
Well since my last post we have had my dads funeral, it passed in a fog i didnt realise or see alot that day, i spoke at my dads funeral as i told him i would always tell everyone what he was like.
It feels like the dazed state i was first in has started to lift, i find some parts of the day really hard, i worry i will forget his face or the sound of his voice, the fact he never walked me down the aisle and i wont have him in those pictures smiling back at me .
Where do i go from here the sadness that overwhelms me at times is unbearable but i know he wouldnt want me feeling like this but i cant help it x

Hi jojo32
Sorry for your loss.
I know how you feel, I lost my dad in march 2017 and it still hurts and it always will, but I like to cheer myself up by doing things he liked to do but I feel music makes me sad because he loved music.
Certain songs will have me in tears were ever I hear it .

Ann I have no words to heal the pain and sadness you are going through, I hope ur not facing it alone.
If u need a chat add me on Facebook if u want.
Sean shanahan.

I can relate to how you are feeling.
After my mum passed unexpectedly in October 2017 I was just doing everything on auto pilot.
I eventually sort help through my doctor who put me on anti-depressants and sleeping tablets which really helped.
I don’t think there is anything wrong in seeking medical help to help you through the rough times.
I came off the anti-depressants a few weeks ago as it suddenly occurred to me that my mum would hate seeing me in such a state.
I am at the stage where I am grateful to have had this last year with my mum and the fact that she didn’t suffer.

Hope you find a way through this dark time soon.

Jojo32 this is exactly how I feel! my dad passed away 24th Feb and everything from that day has gone by in a misty fog. We had to cancel his funeral due to snow and had it 4 days later. my sister and I both spoke at his funeral too. I adored my dad. he was my best friend and superhero.
I completely understand what you’ve said previously about how you feel and now you have really overwhelming feelings.
I went away this weekend with my son and friends however I only felt half there. on the way back home I was hit by a wave of overwhelming brief. I suppose a realisation this was the first time I’ve been away and not been able to ring my dad and tell him all the fun bits. the first time my son hasnt been able to show his grandad all the silly stuff he won at the arcades and the funny videos of him dancing. the loss feels unbearable at times and then other times I’m just on autopilot, going through everyday life.
I can’t tell you where you go from here as I don’t know myself. what I do know is I constantly speak to my dad, often out loud. I feel comfort in just saying ‘oh dad you’ll never belive what happened today’ or just crying his name. I often ask myself what would he say to someone else in this situation and try to get by that way.
I feel so much for your loss jojo x