Lost my dad suddenly

Hi I’m new here lost my dad suddenly on Jan 2nd my mum found him I just can’t process it.
As well as dealing with the shock and grief I’m finding myself
struggling with crippling anxiety about my own health and mortality .My dad has always looked after himself and now he has just gone …it takes my breath away .I can’t seem to function and I have to I’m alone my friends and family live about an hour away . I’m a single parent to 3 teenagers the eldest of which is severely disabled and needs one to one care .
Im a young 56 year old and I feel like a child who doesn’t know where to turn :pensive:

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@Millymolly3 Firstly, sorry you find yourself here but when I lost my Dad last year, this website was a lifesaver as I encountered people all going thru the same thing, albeit different stages in their grief journeys. You’re in the very earliest of days when emotions run riot. I remember weeks of crying & anxiety as my world imploded. I was also trying to be my mum’s rock as she navigates life without her best friend. Don’t look too far ahead at this time. Moment by moment is easier than thinking of tomorrow. The death of a loved one affects everything, it’s an all encompassing process & you can’t rush it. It’s been 10 months for me & I can’t believe how quickly the time has gone.

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Thank you I’m sorry about your loss too I’m glad I found this site :heart:

My sympathies for your loss. We always feel like a child when losing a parent, I think, no matter how old we are. Like Cee said, take it moment by moment. I’m a little further along, but not by much, and still have trouble functioning. Take care. :heart:

Thank you :pray:t3: I’m sorry for your loss it’s the hardest thing it’s so comforting to hear other people understand

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I lost my mum suddenly on new year’s day. Still trying to process everything. Been so poorly with a head cold since the funeral too. Trying my best to function. Today I’ve agreed to do a little fell walk with a friend although the anxious feeling I’m getting makes it hard. I’ve never suffered from anxiety before always been such a positive person but this has flawed me. My mum was 83 got her wish to die at home and not suffer like my dad did. He has cancer and died 5 years ago. After he died I had to be there for mum and we were joined at the hip since then, she was my best friend and although she lived independently I looked after her and either saw her or spoke to her every day. I’m trying to take comfort that she just slipped away in her sleep and had a peaceful and dignified death. She’s back with dad now but I’m struggling to comprehend my life without her. I got some meds from the doc just to take the edge off, only 8 days in so hopefully they’ll help. I have ringing in my ears from the head cold so sleep isn’t great and this anxiety is so alien to me. I’m hoping other on here give me hope that this is all normal reaction to sudden death and this is temporary and I’m hoping I’ll get my old self back like my mum would want xx

Hi I’m so sorry for your loss I can totally relate to the horrendous anxiety you may be going thru it’s horrific. It’s truly debilitating . I immediately looked for help I registered on this site and talking therapies on the nhs site I knew I would struggle and I wanted to put the ball in motion as anxiety stops me in my tracks . Please know anxiety will get better . My dad passed suddenly on the same day officially it was the 2nd when my mum found him. So I feel your pain sending much love xxx

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Hi @Millymolly3 how are you doing? I went for my fell walk. Nearly backed out but made myself go and I’ve got to say it did help. Fresh air and a long talk with my friend. I’m hoping now I’m on day 9 of the meds these are starting to help too. They did say it would be about 2 weeks before they took affect but I’ve never taken anything like this before so who knows. Struggling to go into mum’s house, not ready to sort things but my husband is wonderful and taking control with some of the things. My brother lives in Australia so it’s all down to me. I’m still going over in my head that mum got to 83 and her quality of life was good as she just died in her sleep at home just like she wanted to. I got nearly 50 wonderful years with her. My heart breaks reading some of the stories on here about how people have lost loved ones in such traumatic ways and so young. :heart: I think for me it’s the shock of only seeing mum 3 hours before and all was well as normal. X