Lost my Dad to cancer- struggling to cope

Firstly I wanted to say I am sorry that we are all here.

I lost my Dad to lung cancer a few days after Christmas 2021. Watching him fade away to cancer tore me apart and I ended up having a relapse of anorexia which I had been recovered from since I was 19 (now 39).
I am an only child and now my dad has gone I have absolutely no one. I separated from my partner of 12 years last October so I have no partner, no siblings and now no parents. I have 2 children, one 19 and one 5, but they lean on me, I now have no one to lean on.

The grief only hit me last week, 9 weeks after he died. I am experiencing overwhelming sadness, anxiety about being alone and having no one, to feeling very angry, often angry at my dad for leaving me alone.

I have always been an independent person but suddenly feel so vulnerable its horrible.
My little one goes to my ex at the weekends and although I see friends in the day, I find the nights so hard. I’m alone with all these horrible feelings.

I often feel like I’m losing my mind- I’m scared, my memory is poor, my appetite is poor, I feel like I am floating outside of my body.

Does anyone else feel like this?


Hi I’m sorry for your loss I lost my mum in December too of cancer aswell. Like you I’m an only child and with it just being me and mum at home everything fell on me.

Your not alone on feeling like this. I find the evenings the worst too I feel lonely. During the day I keep myself busy and see people. It’s not easy I find myself having more bad days then good at the moment.

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Thanks for your reply Lou, how are you doing today?
I had a horrible weekend, my mum who I don’t get along with, made some nasty comments that me & my dad didn’t have a good relationship and he apparently told her that! I spoke to my auntie (my dads sister) who said this isn’t true. I know its not true but it gets in my head sometimes. She has no empathy at all for what I’m going through, I was in hospital 3 weeks ago after making a serious attempt on my life and she didn’t even bother to get in touch. When I confronted her on this over the weekend she just had a go at me. She is horrible, the sooner I can cut ties the better.

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Hi I’m doing okay thank you still sorting things out. This is the bit they don’t tell you about grief. I’m sorry to hear that it sounds tough. Have you thought about counselling I’m on a waiting list at the moment. I have people already turn there back on me since I lost mum. I don’t have time for people like that in my life.

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Im so sorry for how you are feeling. I lost my mum this week and I can relate to many of the things you describe especially the feeling of anxiety and isolation. I also am consumed by regrets of all the things I never said/did with mum . People say to me that’s normal but I really don’t know how to cope with that. anyway I hope you can find strength and tranquility soon … in my thoughts