My Dad died earlier this year, just 2 weeks after his cancer diagnosis. He was my hero, so fit, active, fun and kind. I desperately wanted to talk to my friends about him and how I was feeling but only one friend was there for me. I was very angry with many of my friends who acted as if nothing had happened. My life had changed completely and I couldn’t see why they weren’t being more supportive, especially when I had been there for them in difficult times. However, after a while I found that having just one good friend who cared was enough to comfort me. After a while I let the anger go and realised that people who haven’t yet experienced such a loss just don’t understand that a few words can make a big difference. This made me determined to be kind to others when they lose a loved one. I think about my Dad every day and can’t believe he is not on this Earth anymore. But it feels like he is because his influence over my life means he is in my mind supporting me in whatever I do. Anger can be so exhausting and the only person it hurts is you. If you can get past this you will feel so much better.
JP, how right you are, your post is full of common sense including that guilt does nothing only makes you feel exhausted. Like you I had one person who was there for me and just recently she lost her mum and that was my chance to replay her. Take care of yourself, one never knows what life will through at us. Bless you for posting. S xxx
I’m so sorry you lost your dad. I lost mine a few years ago. im glad you have a friend who understands.
Hi
Couldnt agree more.all my friends knew how important my mum to me. I was completely devastated by her sudden death just 11 days after a mini stroke following 74 years of excellent health.
I barely speak to any of them anymore. They all have given up on me because I wasnt ready to socialise.
I too have one friend who I keep in touch with regularly who completely understands.
And I have a fantastic group on sue ryder who I speak to more than anyone I’ve known my whole life
Thinking of you xx