Lost my Dad

I am only 18 and i lost my dad not long ago this year. i cant cope nor put into words how i feel… i would like to hear from someone that is in a similar situation with tips on maybe how you cope? i need him.

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Hi

I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your Dad. I lost my Mum six months ago, I’m 20 so not much older than you. We were so close, she was my world. My biggest tip would be to please be gentle with yourself. To look after yourself and say kind things to yourself and not to judge any emotions or feelings you might be going through. Don’t feel guilty for grieving in your own way. Just know that no matter how you’re dealing with it, it’s okay. Don’t be afraid to tell people how you feel, and equally don’t feel guilty for taking time for yourself.

I always thought I’d never be able to do anything without mum. But she’s always here with my, she’s part of me just like your dad is part of you.

Just be gentle with yourself and now that the bond you had with your dad isn’t gone and all the wonderful memories with him are with you and you can never lose that.

I hope this helps. Things will get easier :blue_heart:

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Sending lots of love :heart: I’m 33 and lost dad in June, never in a million years did I think I’d lose dad, it’s hit me extremely hard, i don’t know how I’ve lasted 6mths without him. I take after my dad which I’m proud to say because he was always there for everybody, putting them all before himself, and that’s what I’m doing, making sure I’m looking after mum and my sister as that’s what he’d want me to do. Mum and my sister aren’t 100% with their health so I’m glad I can be of help to them as that’s what dad was doing before he passed. I am, however, ensuring I’m taking time for myself too and not putting too much pressure on myself, and allowing all of my emotions and feelings to flow freely. Bottling up isn’t the answer so all I can say is is that everyone’s coping mechanism is different. Our grief journey is unique to us. Try different methods and find what’s best for you, whether that’s talking therapy, journalling in a notebook, medication, talking to family and friends, keeping busy with a hobby…you’ll find something which will comfort you and help you as each day passes. It’s not one fits all. I don’t tend to open up and talk, I tend to bottle things up but always write poems about how I’m feeling and journal too. I do crafting aswell which, in all honesty, has saved me because all I wanted was to be with dad. I booked a therapy session over the phone yday but it’s not until January…for someone who doesn’t open up because I don’t want to be a burden, I took the plunge and booked it to see if it can help me. But like I say, try different ways and see what works for you. I’m not sure how my phone session will be, it might not help, it may help, I’m not sure. But reach out to people and look after yourself and your boundaries. I’m here on private message if you like.

Sorry for the essay (when I get going typing I don’t realise how long it is :see_no_evil:) :purple_heart:

Hi sorry for the loss of your dad. I lost my dad in July 2021 3 weeks after being told he had lung and bone cancer. I’m too finding it difficult and feel people who ask if you’re ok only really want you to say yes I’m fine.
I just said to myself it’s ok not to be ok, and show my emotions when ever I feel the need to, tears everyday. Don’t worry what others think.
I too write a journal about how I’m feeling, not everyday but as and when I feel up to it.
I’m an only child so I feel no one knows how I’m feeling because he wasn’t anyone else’s dad.
Just take each day and step at a time and be kind to yourself. Give yourself time to reflect alone and remember all the lovely times.
I say to myself, he’ll always be my dad even if he’s not with me.
It is difficult to accept as this is something I’m struggling with .
I’m finding there’s no easy answer.
Take care x

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The struggle is unbearable, especially in the run up to Christmas when it should be a joyous time and time spent with family and loved ones. Seeing the world carry on and people happy and excited just irritates me at times but they’re happy and have every right to be happy, especially after a s*** Christmas 2020. If dad was still here I’d definitely be making this Christmas joyous and fun. But because he’s not, I’m feeling angry at the world. I wrote a poem late last night. Was thinking to post it on here. If only we could all meet up and share our love and memories. It’d be great if we all could do a fundraising hike or something, talk as we walk, raising money for various charities

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I know. I didn’t spend last Christmas with my dad, the first time ever, because he had COPD and him and mum decided to play it safe.
I found last years card and he said let’s hope 2021 is a better year. It wasn’t too be.
Yes I feel angry with everyone else enjoying them selves.
Let’s just get through Christmas the best we can. That’s all we can hope for.
Take care x

It’s so difficult to come to terms with isn’t it :cry: mum and dad dropped me off some Christmas Dinner last year so I’d only seen them briefly and I thought this Christmas we’d be able to celebrate together…it’s just torture. I hate the world, I hate the pandemic for robbing us of so much.
The other day whilst sorting, I too came across last year’s Christmas card from mum and dad and mum had accidentally written 2021 in a love heart and it got me emotional. She was obviously meant to put 2020…i think I may put it up this year.
Your dad hope for this year, it’s awful he’s no longer with you. All you can do is try and keep some of his hope for yourself…in time, things will get more manageable. It’s hard to see any hope after a loss but cling onto your dad’s words of hope :heart: x

It’s comforting to know someone’s feeling the same as me although not very nice circumstances for us both.
It is really really difficult and heartbreaking and I think until you have experienced this you have no idea how hard it is.
How I’m feeling at the moment I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
My dad loved Christmas and sang in the church choir this time of year.
I just seem to be crying all the time don’t know about you.
Stay as strong as you can and remember it’s ok not to be ok sometimes :heart:

Yea until you’ve been through the same experience, one can never fully understand how crippling it is. “Society” expects you to move on and as though there’s an expiration date to grief…that ain’t the case, grief will last our lifetime, we just grow around it.
I just want to keep mum, my sister and my other loved ones safe around me, in a little bubble, locked out from the reality of how the world is these days.
Yea I get you on that, I’d not wish it on my worst enemy either. I’m constantly crying, feeling frustrated and annoyed and angry, a whole bag of emotions.
I’m glad your dad loved Christmas and him singing would’ve spread the Christmas cheer to soooo many around him. He sounds like he was an amazing dad :heart:

He sure was as I’m sure your dad was. That’s why it’s so hard for us both

Keep you and your family safe❤️

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He sure was. He was the most selfless, caring, kind man I knew.
Thankyou, keep yourself and your family safe too :heart:

This really helped me… Thankyou. X

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Hi Isabella so glad. Anything that helps each other is good.:heart:

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