Lost my Dad

I feel so lost
My heart is aching so much
I’m avoiding people i know, as I know they don’t understand.

I feel so alone
I feel like my dad is inside me, that’s all that gives me strength.
I can’t sleep
I have regrets.

I want help but don’t at the same time.

We all know and understand here so if you want help and need to talk please come back. Grief is so misunderstood unless you have been where you are now. Where we all are.
Your heart is aching and that’s a good description. I understand what you mean about wanting and not wanting help. I always suggest never go it alone. I doubt any of us are really up to that, though so many try.
And there’s no need for it. This site and many others can help as can counselling and other means of letting emotions out.
We are all together in this awful time. You feel lost and alone. Oh course you do, that’s grief. It’s a natural way to feel in the circumstances. Grief is a process we have to go through, but we can make it difficult or less difficult by allowing it to happen. Fighting and struggling with emotions simply allows anxiety to get worse. Anxiety so often accompanies grief.
I think we all avoid people who may not understand. Perhaps they do but avoid the pain. Can you blame them? Who wants this!
If you want to talk more please come back and share the burden if only a little.
Have you been to your GP.? If not it’s a good idea to do so. They may have local services available that can help, and most have experience of patients in bereavement.
Now take care and give yourself a break. Give yourself some TLC. You need it as much as anyone.