I am very sorry for your loss … and also very grateful for this community of brave survivors. Whether the day we are having is a better one, or a worse one, there is always someone here who has a kind sympathetic response.
I am just a little over 100 days and I am so grateful when I find a card or note tucked in a drawer (bean, don’t forget to get something to eat, I’m headed to the garden). So many Valentine’s and Mother’s Day cards that show up at just the moment I need them (most recently a photo of an older woman with a jackhammer and overalls, ‘no one said mothering was easy, happy Mother’s Day, I love you forever’). Even cards written to me from our dog in his handwriting. So grateful and also wishing it were so different.
I found myself counting my age 56 and wondering, 10 years of widowhood? 20? Wrote in my journal, ‘this is going to take learning a new pace.’ (Which is also Italian for peace, right?)
Sending everyone love and good rest, hopes for good sleep, waking with a good appetite and a good morning walk in crisp air.