Lost my beautiful wife age 30 this month leading to xmas. I am still in shock and grieving for her passing.
We have two beautiful boys age 2yrs and 6month.
She died at home in bed with the two boys beside her while i was away with work all day and sleep.
I cant get over the fact i wasn’t there for her in her last moment when she needed me the most.
Someone close to her died 2 days before she died. She was grieving a family member who she grew up with.
She begged me not to go to work a day before she died, but i had to as i took time off work twice to take care of the boys when she visited her relative at the hospital. I never realised it is possible to die while grieving.
I have lost my best friend and i don’t know how to go on. I have lots of family support around me but i cant stop blaming myself going to work that day when i should have phone in sick to help her grieve.
The only thing keeping me going are the two lovely boys. I am active with them during the day and only grieve in silence at night when everyone’s gone to bed. This is getting me worried as i hide my emotions from people during the day and grieve in silence at night.
I miss her so much and i don’t know how it is possible to move on from her death. Xmas and her birthday which is ending of this month has made it even worse for me. I don’t think December will remain the-same for me for the rest of my life.
I am completely lost and heartbroken.
She was the most beautiful, kind hearted woman ever and i miss her every single day.