Lost my daughter neo natal death in my arms

My daughter died 10 years ago and I’ve never dealt with it… I don’t know how to deal with it… where do I start?

Hi Lisa,

I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your daughter 10 years ago. If people don’t have any support or anyone to talk to about a bereavement, it can make the grief last longer and make it harder to move forward.

However, it is never too late to start getting some support. Joining and posting on this Online Community is a good first step, as this is a safe and supportive place to share your feelings and talk to others who understand what it is like to lose someone. There are others here who have lost a baby - for example, 21reevo and Mummyofaangel have both posted in this conversation: Lost my daughter stillborn. Feel free to post a reply if you’d like to talk to them.

You could also get support from Sands, the stillbirth and neonatal death charity, who offer a helpline (0808 164 3332), local groups and an online forum.

If there is anything I can help with, or you have any questions about this Online Community, you can contact me on online.community@sueryder.org.

Community Manager

Thank you for your reply

Hi lisa,
I lost my baby to neonatal death too. His name was Alfie and he was born in cardiac arrest with brain damage…he lived for 7 hours…he was a healthy 5lb2oz little boy and none of makes sense to me still 3 weeks on. Theres been an investigation opened into his death by the coroner and we hope to get some answers. Would you like to tell me about your daughter? I find it really helps to talk about my son and his life, however short. Im here to listen x

Hi… i lost my son too… he died in the neonatal… he was just 7 days old… he died on 27/10/17…he was born pre mature … 3 months before his due date… i was very hopeful he will survive … i still dont know how to get over it

Hi Nimra, im very sorry for the loss of your son, it is very hard when things go from good to bad so suddenly in neonatal… it was similar with our son too, he was responding to us and doing well, we were hopeful he would recover, then he suddenly died. People have told me that you never get over the loss of your child…it is something that stays with you forever but you learn to live everyday with him or her in your heart. Its In a different way to how you live with a living child but you are still living with them, living with their memory, because you will always be your child’s mum nothing will change that. I am still learning to accept this myself. Some days i still wake up hoping this is all a bad dream, sometimes i say to myself he cant be dead, this cant have happened…it doesnt make sense…

Dear nimra and Jennifer.
We share your pain. On Sunday we lost our precious son suddenly, he was premature and was a twin his sister is still in hospital. They arrived 9 weeks early on the 22 January, idris was doing so well that he was released home on the 22 March. We lost him suddenly and we can’t cope for the pain of his loss and the fear we will.lose his sister who is still.in hospital. I pray for his to ease our way and teach how to cope with his loss. I pray god eases your pain. X