I lost my 21 year old daughter 5 weeks ago, it was not expected, She stopped breathing when she was in hospital for a problem with pressure in her head. They have no idea what happened so we are awaiting an investigation by the coroner.
We had her funeral on Wednesday and I am broken, exhausted, numb, angry, lost as not only was she my daughter but my best friend. I literally don’t know how to carry on without her. I live on my own now, have not managed to go home yet, am staying at my brothers which is nearby. How do I do this?
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Hi @KatieJane, I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. When I lost my son, like you, I really thought I would never get through it, but it’s been 20 weeks tomorrow since we lost him and I’m still here. The days following the funeral are very hard as it all seems so final. I really miss him as I had cared for him for 41 years. I just take things a day at a time and do hope that as time goes on the pain will ease. Unfortunately, there is no set guide to dealing with grief and everyone manages it differently. Talking to people on here who understand exactly how it feels has really helped me. Take care
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One step at a time. When you feel ready join a local group. It does help. We lost our baby at 6 months old. Not the same but it helped to talk to like minded people. People who understood. They have been in your shoes. They won’t judge u. But you will be able to share your thoughts with them. Better than family as they don’t know u.
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Thank you for replying to me, I am actually looking for a group through my counsellor, I’m hoping it will “help” if thats the right word to gove me some understanding of this. I’m finding as the days/weeks go by that my grief is overwhelming me, I feel so lost and have no idea what to do. My heart is broken and I just don’t know how to deal with this. I can’t believe how many parents have lost children, is so upsetting to read all the stories, life will never be the same again for any of us, life is cruel and none of this makes any sense. Big hugs and so sorry for your loss, no matter what age they are they are still your children and we love them endlessly 
xxx
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Try a bereavement group for parents.
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Thats what I’m looking for, I just hope there is something local that I can attend, although I said to my counsellor that I would travel anywhere, I just feel its the support I need at the moment. I live alone, was just me & Megan and feel this could help me, even if just a little bit. Thank you Debra64 xx
Hi KatieJane I am so sorry for your loss it’s unimaginable pain and horrific circumstances.
I lost my daughter and best friend a month ago. It’s so very raw she had metastatic breast cancer and found out at the start of the schools summer holidays.
My daughter was so very brave and was scared of leaving her two children behind. The hospital started her on chemotherapy she was responding well, or so we thought, but after 6weeks they gave her the devastating news it wasn’t working. We had 4weeks before she passed.
There are so many questions need answering. I feel lost my world has collapsed it should never have happened I would have swapped places in an instant. I have to carry on for my lovely grandchildren and to help out wherever possible I promised my daughter I’d be there for them all. It’s so very hard when all I want to do is shut myself away from the world.
Everything around is a constant reminder of her, she loved life and lived for her children. This time of the year is especially bad she loved halloween and went over the top. Then it’s my granddaughter and her birthday followed by Christmas. Dreading it all
Christine
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Hi I’m new to this ,I’m very sorry for all your losses , I lost my 38 year old daughter in February this year , she left behind 6 daughters and 2 grandsons and to say I’m devastated at loosing our daughter is an understatement , she only went into hospital beacause she felt dizzy and passed out , they was trying to treat her for 3 different things but it turned out not for what she passed away with , she continued to pass out another 6 times so they moved her to icu and she passed the very next day , it turned out to be a blood clot that travelled up her legs into her lungs , deep vein thrombosis , it took 2 months to Bury her due to the coroners courts and the things they done to her no parent wants to hear about it , now I’ve taken it to inquest and the whole thing is dragging out longer and longer holding on to our grieve even longer
Oh how awful for you, we have the same problem, we are awaiting results on an inquest as they have no idea what caused my daughters passing. She stopped breathing which stopped her heart. I’m dreading the outcome, and like yourself its something that’s going to take sometime.
I understand they have to do their jobs and am thankful they are, but its never going to bring our daughters back, I wish with all my heart and soul that it would, as the pain is unbearable and your poor grand children and great grandchildren have to grow up without their mum/nan. I honestly don’t know the answer to all this, my mind is blown trying to work it out.
Life is so cruel and its upsetting at the amount of parents that are having to deal with the loss of their children, life will never be the same again for so many of us.
I hope they have some answers for you soon, this forum has been a massive help to me, there are some amazing people on here.
Hi thanks for writing back , my minds jumbled and I prob sound like I’m talking jibberish sometimes ,I apologise for that but since our Gemma died I just can’t concentrate on anything , as you say it doesn’t matter now how much we push this forward it will never bring our daughters back , but I’m pushing it forward to inquest and thankfully they excepted that at the coroners , I’m doing it beacause I want answers as to why they didn’t find out what was going on when gem got admitted,it was like one minute she was here next she was gone , we thought at the time they would just give her tablets for something simply and she would be home ,never in a million years did we think this would be an end result , never ever give it a thought that we would loose a child , my sister lost her boy when he was 8 in a road traffic accident and my cousin lost her boy in his teens to a motorbike accident , you sought of think God has taken our share from this family , we have been through so much since this has happend as if it wasn’t a major trauma loosing gem , we have been through hell by basically loosing 5 of the grandchildren, there was a few different dad’s unfortunately , but one father of 3 of the girls is a violent nutcase and moved them 60 miles away to his new girlfreinds also named Gemma, his caused trouble even to the point him and his brother tried to beat me up beacause I let my older grandaughter in my house at the same time as his daughters , there all sisters and its all beacause he don’t like my oldest grandaughter , now his blocked all there phone numbers and said we will never see them again , horrible horrible man , the other one has 2 of the girls 1vis his and 1 is not he won’t give up the 1 who’s not and has craftily kept away as much as possible , he was with my daughter 3 years befor gem passed we was in her life’s 38 years , there is a lot more to this story but to long to type but I can assure you we are innocent in all of this and theese 2 men are vile , sorry to have ranted on so much , I just feel I can’t stop talking about it , I break down when I start to talk or hear a record that could relate to gem , I’m sure you prob feel the same way about your daughter , I hope also you find the answers to your daughter and that one day you can find some sort of peace from the heartache this has caused you , a tall order I know , I really don’t know the answers fir any of us right now but try to stay strong and get the answers as to what happend , this is what’s driving me atm and I feel its my duty to gem and her girls and grandsons , wishing you well as can be expected . Paul
Hi KatieJane,
I’m very sorry for your loss it must be unbearable for you. I feel your pain immensely this is the first time I have written on here. It does help reading through this forum, strangely I get a little bit of solace knowing what I’m feeling is the same as other people in similar situations. Sometimes I think no one understands and life goes on in the world when part of mine has ended. I look around and see some poor old person struggling to get round and think why did my daughter have to die why not you? Then, I feel guilty for having these thoughts. It seems it’s always the best people that have to go, when there are some horrible ones out there.
I do hope you get the answers you’re looking for. My daughters husband doesn’t want to pursue things at the moment, understandably we have to come to terms with our loss. It won’t bring her back, however I feel robbed things were missed and not acted upon quickly enough. Lessons need to be learnt.
Thank you for responding good luck with everything .
Christine