A few weeks ago my partner called me and cried so hard he couldn’t catch his breath, to tell me he just found out that his dad took his own life that day. Since that day life has felt so heavy and I don’t know how to cope. My partner, his brother and their mom are ofcourse devestaded, but coping okay, as ”okay” you would be able to in this type of situation. Me and my father-in-law had a pretty close relationship aswell and I’m really, really going to miss him and I am so sad he will never become a grandfather to our children, but mostly I am really struggling with the unanswered questions, the anger that he did this to hos family and the people I love (I know I shouldn’t be angry But have hard time not feeling that way) and a heartbreaking fear this might happen to my partner aswell. He has not showed any signs or said anything that should make me worry, But my world really turned upside down when this happened. My father-in-law was (as far as we knew, at least) the happiest, calmest, most peaceful, funniest person I’ve ever known. He seemed to love life and went to concerts, travelled, cooked a lot, went hunting and fishing, listened to a lot of music and watched many mobiles, tolk Care of their house, had just got a promotion at work where everyone loved him. He never showed a single sign of depression or anxiety. He wasn’t ill. He suffered from migraines from time to time but that wasn’t really something that seemed to concern him. He had just bought a concert ticket for himself that he was going to on his own in october. He and his wife/my mother-in-law were planning their summer varation just the day before, they were as happy as ever. Because of this I see the world as a scary, dark and unpredictable place where traumatic loss Can just happen from anywhere. Please give me advice on how to cope and not live my life in fear, scared that my partner wont come home one day. And thinking about 1000 unanswered ”why” everyday. It’s awful feeling this way. I can’t even imagine what my partner and the rest of the family is feeling.
it hurts me so bad that