Lost my father to cancer

Lost my dad to lung cancer, He was diagnosed last year and I lost him this year on 29/03/18 - 2:33am

Since then I have been doing cocaine heavily , not sleeping , not knowing what to do with myself , Feel like I’ve lost half of my body. Writing on here today because I don’t know where to turn or what to do, Only way I can sleep is if I’m
drunk and drugged out of my mind and I am not proud to admit that, Don’t know where to go from here only I know I don’t want my pain and habits to hurt anyone else surrounded by me. Lost a child years back but never thought life could hurt this hard.

I am so so sorry you have lost your father. I have three grown up children. My husband died alone suddenly on 8.12.17, my son found him I arrived home from work shortly after. Like you we are all devastated.

My daughter has struggled on and off for years with an addiction to cocaine. She also lost a child quite a few years ago. My concern for all my children and for you too is that that the legacy of their fathers death does not result in ruining their lives.

Your loss is so recent. I know how hard it is to bear. Have you got people around you? Family or friends that you can talk to? You can look at the possibility of bereavement counselling and perhaps get in touch with cocaine anon?

I joined this forum in February. I have to say I have not posted often but do find comfort in reading the posts and know there are many people who will resonate with how you are feeling.

Please please try to speak to someone and keep talking here.

I send love


I am sorry to read you have lost your Dad recently to lung cancer. This is a very hard time for you, very frightening and you must be in shock I would think still. I am sure others have already said it but you really need to try and see your doctor as soon as you can. You sound terribly sad and shouldn’t be trying to deal with everything on your own. Ring them and ask or if you have to demand an emergency appointment. They are there to help you get through this terrible time so please make use of their expertise.

Please do come back here and let us know how you are getting on.