Hello, everyone! Today is the day I lost my father. He was 68 years old, diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal cancer 8 months ago. The surgery was successful and the recovery was going not that but until April, when they changed his chemoterapy and…that was the beginning of the end. The new chemo reacted terrible with his body, all the poison destroyed his organs and the last 15+ days were living hell for all of us. It even created a deep vein thrombosis and although he was in a hospital, I believe that is the thing that ended his life. He wasn’t in pain, he didn’t have cancer pain, and even in the last 15 days he was just…tired. I talked with him this morning on the phone, he told me that doctors got him on oxygen because he had trouble breathing from the morning, otherwise he was fine. The last thing he told me was: “Don’t worry, I am okay now”. When I went to the hospital in 2 hours time, he has just passed away…
The thing is…yes, I knew the prognosis, yes, I’ve seen in the last 15 days that he cannot move and eat and that he is dying and still…I am devastated. It hurts. It hurts really bad. And I am thinking now about all the good moments from our lives. All the happy moments…and I suffer
I was thinking one thing - I was trying to prepare myself for that moment, I was aware it is inevitable, and still I am a wreck. How do the relatives of all those people, who pass away unexpectedly - in car crashes, airplane disasters etc, etc. feel…how do they handle it, deal with the shock, and the loss and everything………
That’s what I wanted to say for now, thank you very much for reading!
I’m so sorry you are going through this. Your feelings are understandable. Keep posting if you feel it helps to talk here. We all understand how it feels. Take care
Hello, im so sorry for the loss of your father, my husband was in the hospital for 3 weeks, doctors told me they couldn’t do anything else to him, even knowing he was going to pass, its still a shock when he passed, its been 6 weeks, and here I am crying my eyes out. May God be with you
I am really sorry about your husband. I hope, I really hope he passed away peacefully and found rest and no more pain. Same goes for my father.
Today was the funeral, I wanted it to be in a small family circle, I do not believe that a funeral should be huge - it is not a wedding, or a prom, so it should not be treated as a celebration. I believe funerals should be small and only people who really cared and will really miss the person should attend. I am sick and tired of co-workers, fake friends etc who bad mouthed someone and then go to his funeral and say all those cliches: “He/She was such a good person”. That is why I chose the small funeral. At least we were people who would truly miss him and truly loved him…
I am not a religious person, my father was religious, not obsessed with it, but he was a guy who was attending church and wore a necklace with a cross with it. That is why I tried to give him the proper funeral with almost all traditions.
I am a man of science. My personal opinion, after reading and studying a lot about “death” (waaaay before my father got ill, lot’s of years before that) is that death is just another process connected with Biology and Physics. Yes - Physics. Why are we not floating in the air, but staying on the ground? Is it magic? Is it something supernatural? No, it is plain gravity - the planet’s gravitational force that is pulling us towards the center of it. But did people know that several thousands of years ago? No! Because they weren’t that advanced!!! I believe the same thing for death - it is a process that we do not fully understand, because we are not that advanced. And yeah, energy is not lost in the Universe, it is transmitted and transformed….
