Lost my Grandad who was my Dad

Losing a grandparent
1

Hello everyone.

I lost my dear Grandad 8 weeks ago. He was the sole consistent male figure in my life - my real father abandoned me, & subsequent step-parents were abusive - and so I feel as though I have lost a parent.

I found that after the funeral, there was some relief. I was able to engage in hobbies I had previously been unable to (there was a 1 month wait before the funeral), which was lovely. But now… whilst I can work, most of the brain fog has gone, & I can indulge in my hobbies… I feel so lonely.

Rationally, I know I am not the only person suffering loss. But I feel as though I am the only one grieving right now. I feel as though people don’t understand that I have lost my Dad & I feel unmoored. I want to talk to people but I feel there is no one besides my partner (who is brilliant - but I need other people in ny support network). It feels like everyone else is racing ahead in life & no one has noticed I’m falling behind due to my grief.

On top of that, Xmas is coming soon. I already deeply dislike the Xmas season, but the imagery of happy families & reunions & perfection is especially galling this time. I am worried I will struggle as the Big Day approaches.

Does anyone else feel equally as alone? And full of dread at the constant bombardment of happy, joyful people when you’re feeling anything but?

2

Hello @yadoking ,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling unsettled and lacking guidance without your grandad and although you have been able to resume some parts of life you feel alone and left behind in your grief. I’m so sorry to hear about your grandad. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,
Alex