Lost my husband 21/10/2016

It’s been 2 weeks and 4 days and still can not get my head around the fact he has gone he was 51 years old and died at home. I found him me and my daughter tried to save him with CPR untill the paramedics came but no good he was gone paramedics tried for 45 minutes to get him back. I got to sit with him tell him i loved him very much say my goodbyes when they stopped working on him. but all I want now is him back I fill like I can not carry on with out him i am so lost. I keep smiling for every one but inside I am dead where do I go from here x.

Hi sirina
So sorry to hear of your loss I can understand how you are feeling I lost my husband suddenly and unexpectedly on the 1st August
He went to work normally on Monday morning and never came home again he suffered a heart attack while at work they say at his work place that he didn’t suffer but I will never know that and find it hard to comprehend .it must be so hard for you and I have no answers in how you move on as I haven’t found any yet I miss him so much we were together for 44 years and had an amazing life together have 3 children and 5 grand children who all miss him . I have had lots of support from all my family and friends but no one can do what I really want and that is to bring him back everyone says it will get easier but I’m not so sure about that I feel it’s just got worse I’m hoping one day in the future I can think happy thoughts about him and be happy but at the moment even our happy memories together make me feel broken hearted as he was my world hope you can find a way through the next few weeks and months thinking of you x

Thank you mickathink I get the same thing from people saying he would not have suffered and like you how do I know that and I can not comprehend it. I miss him every day and the day are not getting any better I look at our pictures and cry because my heart is broken. I hope you two find away through his and know i am hear thanking of you hugs to you and are husband’s xxx

Hello Sirina
I deeply empathise with you and hope you are managing to get through each day in one piece. I too am in a very bad place right now as my lovely Husband passed away a day after my birthday on 6th October. He was sent home with end-stage heart failure after a massive Heart attack on New Year’s day this year. He had had good periods but after 5 weeks in hospital they could do no more and sent him home with ‘weeks’ to live. These weeks turned out to be hours as he died on the same day of discharge. I am tormented and haunted by the ‘if only’s’ and ‘what if’s’ throughout the entirety of his illness. I was going to use these ‘weeks’ to make things as special as I could. I fooled myself into thinking he would ‘pick up’ at home surrounded by the people and things he loved but I was simply being silly. Like you I also feel the added trauma of the suddenness even though it was expected very soon. I send you my heartfelt thoughts Sirina.

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