I was only with him for 3 short years but we lived a life time in those years. We found each other in our 40s, he took my children on and lived together, holidayed together and we were inseperable, had shared hobbies and we worked so well as a team. He was my soul mate.
He had cancer but was not diagnosed until 3 weeks before he died after a short 4 month illness where he rapidly declined. He was so fit and active, never smoke or drank and yet he died of metastasic colon cancer with metastis in his liver lungs and kidneys.
That last week was awful, we married in hospital Chapel and that was absolutely beautiful, the hospital went above and beyond make our day special, i work in the same place and a lot of my colleagues were there standing outside too with tears and smiles. But when me and Andy saw each other we both cried and cried hugging each other at the alter in joy and heartbreak.
He was so ill and in a wheelchair and on a drip
He moved into a hospice 6 days later and then passed on the 8th July.
I feel so awful without him, I also feel as if I shouldn’t be grieving for him so deeply because I only had 3 years with him. My mother said to me I’d be alright in a couple of weeks as its not like i was with him decades like she was with my dad.
So I’ve stopped trying to grieve as much in front of others, maybe she’s right and thats what people think but I am in bits. I miss him so much. My kids miss him too. He was only 50 and im 44. I feel robbed of a lifetime of memories with him, our future together, all mapped out
Sorry for rambling I feel pretty low today