Lost my husband and my father within 4 weeks of each other

Hello,
On the 15th August this year,my world ended when my husband of 30 years died. Andrew who was only 49 was the love of my life. After meeting at 16,marrying at 18 and having 2 children by the time we were 21,we had the perfect life. Andrew was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in April this year and after 3.5 months of suffering, died the most horrendous death at home. My dad who was the other love of my life,had been helping me everyday to even just get out of bed after Andrews death. He was my rock. On 15th September exactly a month after Andrew,my dad died of a sudden heart attack again, right in front of me. As you can imagine,I am broken completely,Im sat here crying,scared,frightened. All I want is my Andrew,I cant even grieve for my Dad. All I need to know is does it really get better ? the thoughts,the feelings everything,the yearning for your husband? x

1 Like

I am so sorry that you have gone through so much pain and find yourself on this site that none of us wanted to be on. I lost my husband 7 months ago (lost my dad to pancreatic cancer 10 years ago). It is so, so hard to get through those first days and weeks - you have to take it breath by breath sometimes and eventually day by day. You have had a double shock and loss so close together- it is going to take a lot of time to even begin to grasp what has happened. You can sign up for counselling here or with Cruse. Take any support that friends and family offer- sometimes it’s people you didn’t realise would be a rock for you that are. Have a look at refugeingrief.com it’s written by someone who lost her partner.
Keep posting here, people will be supportive and understand the depth or loss that comes with losing these special people in your life. Take care

1 Like

I’m so sorry for your terrible losses,nobody should have to go through this torture, I had my husbands funeral yesterday we had been married for 51yrs,just keep sitting here looking at his empty chair,I still can’t believe he’s not coming back it feels hard to breathe.We are lost x

1 Like

Thank you so much,I need all the help I can get,I really do xx

1 Like

Thankyou so much,its so hard all of it . I am struggling to get counselling anywhere without paying for it :(. Cruse counselling there is a 3 month waiting list x

1 Like

Do you have a local hospice - they sometimes offer counselling. If not, talk to your GP. They say to have counselling after about 6 months. I had it earlier but I think you are able to take things in more a little later on. Get yourself on the list anyway and they do assess to see if you need an earlier session. Take care

1 Like
Back to top