I lost my husband nearly 19 months ago suddenly on Christmas Day due to sepsis.
He was only 56 and I have four children with him aged now 24, 22, 19,16.
They all seem to be coping fine now without him and have girlfriends boyfriends etc
But I’m struggling and feel like I’ve only just lost him, it’s like I’m acknowledging he’s actually gone now and it’s killing me.
Is this normal to feel like I’ve only just lost him, I keep looking at photos and videos and thinking how is he alive there but now he’s nothing and he’s gone.
I feel I have gone backwards and not forwards.
Is this normal and when will I feel better 
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I lost mine month ago feel like you ever one getting on with there life’s I feel in limbo missing him so much scared on my own at night time I know it silly but I can’t control my feelings
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To have been with someone for so long, depending on each other , just getting on with life etc - it’s understandable to feel like we have been thrown into the deep end.
Sink or swim - - it feels like everyone is just getting on with their lives and we only want a helping hand.
Time being a healer is a crap saying.
Time will make things easier & more manageable & your memories will help I’m sure.
Take care.
G. X
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Like your self I hate people saying time is great healer it doesn’t make you feel better I still lost
In my view time itself does “not change anything” , its what we do with the time that changes but the problem is having any interest in doing anything, I am 18 months in but still struggling.
I am only 8 weeks today without my soul mate I am finding each day so hard does it ever get better I can’t see future without my husband we did everything together feel like half of me has gone