Lost my husband ,Last year.

It’s been hard no doubt,So many things has changed …
I too didn’t want to live when I lost my husband .
But I had to stop thinking of myself .I have Three adult DAUGTHERS ,ones ,living in Australia.Its only just hit her ,she’s had bad days a lot. And one has her Dads heart problem .Youngest has been our rock.Sleepover every third forth day and other has her turn.Its been a family ,Help each other.
After so many months I’ve gone through my husband note book .
That woke me up .
1/ when I’m sad or in thought ,I play music.etc.

Many things we can help each other ,one day at a time.
Heal your body.music ,memorys,children that belong to you and him .
Hug your children and tell them you love them.
I went to church ,I’m not a Christain ,but I went ,to heal my body ,my head ,
My pathway to life.
Being strong for my DAUGTHERS and granchildren .
It’s been a lovely day I take each day slowly .Much Healing is the main thing for me .
God bless everyone ,Today is a good day and tomorrow,we’ll see.

This grief thing is so difficult, until it happens we have no idea how or when things are going to affect us. Taking each day, day by day is the way I look at it and tomorrow is another day. I believe it gets easier but never goes away, so living each day is the only way. Take care and try to enjoy something of each day.
Blessings S

it’s so true,I’m taking each day slowly ,joining church, volunteer ,I hope to do at our local hosp.and keeping myself busy,house,pets,lawn,hedge,painting fence .All that my husband did ,I’ve taken it over to keep me going and getting stronge.
Next month will be one year.So my two DAUGTHERS and I are going out to have a picnic ,and talk of the good times of their father.Day by day ,is healing time for us all as family .xxx. Thank u.

Dear Jeanette and Susie. You have struck a cord with me. Brian died in November and each day I try to focus on doing something. I love the countryside, we both did, so I walk with my dogs who give me such comfort and thankful for all that is around me. I grow my own veg and fruit on our allotments, which more than keeps me busy this time of the year. Have the garden and been decorating house. go to the gym and do yoga. Don’t feel I want to join anything at the moment as more than busy.
We didn’t have children together but we do have two each from previous marriages. Unfortunately his daughters have rebuked all attempts by me to grieve together for the man we loved. They refused to turn up at the scattering of their father’s ashes. Drama queens at his funeral. No idea why, we had no problems for thirty years. Some of my family very supportive others useless.
I too keep busy to stay strong but what I can’t understand is for a week or two I will feel reasonably positive and start to find acceptance. Then all of a sudden I go downhill with a resounding bump. It’s happened this weekend. I was fine yesterday until the afternoon and while planting veg I suddenly felt this dark, frightening feeling, no idea why, been like it all day today although I have kept busy but it would have been so easy to have gone back to bed. I’ve been crying most of the time. I accept it’s grief but it’s so annoying that we struggle to move forwards slowly and then we get knocked backwards, it’s so cruel. Still as you say it’s another day tomorrow.
Love to you both Pat xxx

Dear Pat, you describe exactly what happens to me, with the grief suddenly taking over after a fairly lengthy period of calm. It’s been 14 months now and overall I’m coping better, gradually, but this week has been terrible, feeling incredibly lonely, anxious and sorry for myself. Not helped by one of my daughters moving far away (not her choice). I have family and friends and things to do but the business of building a life without my husband just seems more than I can bear right now. No choice but to bear it, I know. It hurts so much, though.

xxx

Yes, this is this horrible thing called grief and it seems to keep happening. Keep busy and try to build some kind of life but it is very hard. At the beginning you don’t have any idea that this is what it’s like and to say we have just to get on with it! is an understatement. Keep smiling.
Blessings S

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