I can’t get over the death of my husband to be he took his own life because of bullying only 3 weeks ago I feel I don’t no how to go on without him and can’t find help anywhere we were together all day every day I’m so lost
If anyone could help me with were to start he was only 38 it’s took me all my life to find him and now he’s gone he took his own life in the worst way I could think of told me how he was going to do it what with were he was I tried to get police there on time but was too late I can’t get the images out of my head I don’t feel at home or safe anywhere I’m lost totally broken I can not see a future for me or a way through this I just can’t stop thinking about him
Hello Loulou022002,
I am incredibly sorry to hear about your husband and everything you’re going through. It’s completely understandable that you’re feeling this way - 3 weeks is such a short period of time to even start coming to terms with such an experience.
Do you have anyone that you can talk to at the moment? Maybe a close friend or family member?
There’s an organisation called SOBS, who support people who have been bereaved by suicide. They offer a number of forms of support, including a helpline that’s open until 9pm tonight - 0300 111 5065.
Keep talking to us for as long as you need to - even you don’t always get a quick response, there is someone listening.
If there’s anything I can do to support you, just let me know.
Take care,
Eleanor
I’m so sorry to hear this … how hard it must be for you! I hope I’m time you can remember the good times and not the way he died. It’s such early days …, the way you are feeling is understandable. You need to allow yourself to grieve hun in whatever way is right for you. Always here to talk. Sending you hugs from me … Sue x
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Dear Lou,
My heart breaks for you and I wish I could give you the biggest of hugs. You have been through the worst experience possible.
My beloved daughter took her own life 6 months ago and you maybe feel lost, in a haze and as though you are in some kind of nightmare. This is how I felt. I actually felt as though I was going mad
It is baby steps so be kind to yourself and take up any offers of help.
Try and keep posting on here because people are incredibly caring and have been through similar situations. I find it very helpful.
I would be very happy for you to email me privately if you would like and just know that I am thinking of you.
Take care xxx
Thank you I feel lost broken and like I want to be with him again but I can’t ive never felt pain like it I still feel like it was only yesterday and miss him so much
Hi,
I can absolutely feel your pain, my cousin passed away last weekend aged 53, her husband committed suicide in 1999, to see their children now orphans standing before their mum’s coffin was heartbreaking.
The coming days, months, years ahead will be full of questions. Done of them may never get resolved.
Life at the best of times can be tragic, allow your feelings expression, presently everything is raw, but trust me (I lost my father last year), time will heal the wounds.
Stay strong, live the life your partner I’m sure would’ve wanted you to live.
Take Care,
Nilesh
Dearest Loulou, your pain is unimaginable. I too have suffered loss but yours is so raw, so cruel, so devastating. I can only offer you love, support and a million hugs. Be good to yourself. Cry when you must, rage when it overwhelms you, sleep when you can and importantly, look for support wherever you can. There’s some wonderful people out there and stay in this forum; you’ll find it helps in time. My heart to yours. Chris.
I’m staying on here it’s very raw I’m so hurt and it sticks in my mind I couldn’t save him
Dear Lou,
I can’t imagine your pain. You did everything you could for him but sometimes life is so cruel and 3 weeks is such a short time. But we are all here for you so message anytime as we are all thinking of you.
Sending you lots of love xxx
Hi Lou, both my sons died … not through taking their own lives. It is just unbearable … that feeling of longing for their presence etc. Life seems meaningless but I know they would want me to live… it’s six years and one year for me so am further along. But I do feel your pain and despair… you can only go with your emotions … there is no way round this just through it … everyone her understands so please keep posting. Sending you hugs … Sue
Hi
I’m so sorry for your loss and feel your pain.
My wife died almost 10 weeks ago in different circumstances she had cancer. She was 51 and only had 3 weeks from diagnosis till passing.
The pain and longing is unbearable but keep talking on here someone will always reply who knows how you’re feeling.
Please take care William.
I no there is no way round it I’m broken inside I don’t understand why I didn’t no he had depression until he kept saying it the day before he took his life he was always happy and hyper bullying has a lot to answer for
I’m so sorry … you must be in shock hun. Always here … Sue
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I’m in shock and just don’t think I can get through it it hurts so much I wish I had stayed with him instead of believing that he would be bk the next day talk to him more realised what he was planning I can see it clearly now and I wish I had before I feel like he couldn’t of loved me to do this and that hurts aswell so much like I wasn’t worth him living for
Hi Lou,
My brother-in-law took his own life 3 years ago. He was depressed too. When you are depressed you are not thinking logically, your husband to be may have felt you would be better off without him or you deserved someone better. There is no point in torturing yourself about what he was thinking because you will never know and even if you did, they probably weren’t the thoughts of the real person you knew but the depressed one. Its such early days for you Lou, just take each hour as it comes, say yes to any support or help. Try to replace your horrendous images with happy photographs, in the hope the former will fade to the latter. Be kind to yourself, you have had the worst shock possible. Sending you hugs
Ange
Thank you I’ve got depression and autism myself but I just couldn’t see it in him at all but I’ve spoke to his mam and she said he had depression for years I just can’t get my head around our last moments together and that the people who had him in a corner are walking round leading happy life’s he promised me he wouldn’t hurt his self but I think he new days before that he couldn’t keep that promise
I don’t no how to griev I’ve never been so close to anyone before I’m just lost in my own head
Sorry to hear about your daughter it’s so hard I feel like it was yesterday and that everyone is moving on with there life and I’m just stuck stuck in my own head just wish I’d done or said things different wish he had told me more than he did about depression wish we had moved away and never looked back he were due to get married on 10 th Oct so now I’m thinking did he ever love me to leave me like this and what he done to his self seams the worst way to die I just want to cuddle him talk to him make it all ok but it’s to late now xxx
Oh Lou,
It is so hard for you.
My Gemma took her little boy to school and kissed him goodbye just before she took her own life. She would never have done that and I believe that it was an impulsive act and maybe it was the same for your boyfriend.
I am sure he loved you very much and you must have so many happy memories … remember those happy times.
It is such early days for you and I promise you that you will start to feel stronger and calmer in time. I talk to Gemma and find that it does comfort me somehow.
Do you have good friends or family to talk to? I hope so.
Sending you lots of love xxx