Lost my husband to covid in January

I’m really struggling at the moment on the 15th of January i lost my husband to covid he went into hospital on New Year’s Eve after testing positive and unfortunately ended up on a ventilator and never recovered after a post mortem being done no other health problems were found it was covid 19 I’m totally lost he was so fun loving he had retired 5 years ago and I was due to take early retirement this year we had it all planned i just feel im still in shock of how quick things happened then having to deal with the restrictions still in place when dealing with the funeral the love of my life has gone and I just don’t feel I’ll ever be happy again my emotions are all over the place I have good family support but there are so many things I can’t say to them as we are all struggling I’ve been offered counselling via zoom but just feel I can’t deal with looking into a computer screen.
I know people say in time things will get better I so don’t see that right now I’m just totally devastated and crying while I’m typing this I just feel at the moment I’m existing and doing the day to day things that’s expected of me but it’s hard you just think you’ll be together till old age not have your other half taken from you by this absolutely cruel virus because I know that if it hadn’t been for covid he’d still be here :disappointed_relieved::broken_heart:
I even struggled just going shopping now only for myself it was so upsetting
Its so hard to look forward I know it’s still early days
I can’t believe I’ve plucked up the courage to write this there is so much more I know I need to say and get out I’ve pondered over the site for days but am hoping through work soon the face t face counselling will be back cause know I need someone to talk to


Morning paula54
So sorry for your loss so hard to face a day without are loved ones
I to lost my husband to covid December the 5th
It so painful and hard to carry on
My doctor as been so kind and she talks me thru things
She put me in touch with cruse it doesn’t take away the pain
But it someone to say anything to
I have been advised to just take each hour as it comes
Don’t think about tomorrow
Please take care xx

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I am so sorry for your loss I lost my man on 03/02 on a ventilator after we tested positive for COVID.He was 58 and we were getting married in June.
I know what you are going through and unfortunately so do every one on this site.
Grief is lonely exhausting and dame cruel.
Please contact your GP mine has helped as I have been in a bad place at times I do not want to be here without Tim. I am on medication and receiving counselling through Cruse.
The advice I took from here was get through one day at a time which I do anyway I can, it’s so hard but what choice do I have.

Take care of yourself :yellow_heart::yellow_heart:

Morning Paula, I am so sorry for your loss. You’ll be in my thoughts <3