Hello Shelia, What have you been up to ? Another horrible sunday tomorrow they certainly come round quick, Thought I might be going to my Daughters tomorrow but no 3 weeks since I saw her what a life, So fed up as every one else is on this site its what to keep doing , I went on the coach on Wednesday to Windsor and a cruise for a couple hours really lovely but not the same . Ive got Hospital Tuesday that’s always on my own now not used to it like your not Colin always came with me, Have to get a cab as no buses go that way, Told my Daughter I don’t know why as she never seems interested as she says she works so how does she get her Hair done . her waxing her tanning she pops out from work to get it done funny that , Going to make yet another cup of tea , Take care Shelia thinking of you lots love Pam xx
Hi Romy. If sitting on the grave gives you comfort that’s fine we all have our different ways, I have Colins ashes at home and I sit and hold them but then it becomes to much because I cannot believe what I am holding and keep thinking this cant be it after all those years together its not right. Yes you do wonder if it is ever going to get easier the grief is unbearable as we all know, But you are in my thoughts and I pray we will find peace one day but want it to be now, Take care . Love Pam xxx
Amelies Gran That is so lovely what you have said to Romy Also about drowning how true that is will keep that in mind Thank You Love Pam xx
Dear Pam
I’ve been again today
It’s the only place I feel at peace with myself
It’s the nearest I can get to him
Sending you love
I’m feeling a bit desperate at the moment …not depressed …just wanting to connect with him any way I can
Sending love
It’s all about love really isn’t it ?
Romy xxxxx
Thank you Amelie’s gran
It means a lot
All my love
Romy xxxxx
Pammi, I have Alan’s ashes here too. I polish his pewter urn and talk to him. Talk to his photos too. Yet i know he’s not in his urn, that holds his earthly body. His spirit is by my side constantly. We do hold a lot by hoding their photos and their ashes, yet I know the spirit of our loved ones soar high above the heavens yet remain at our side to guide us when we falter. ☆
Blessings Pammi
Jen☆
Hi Romy
I am also desperate to make some contact with Jack. I want/need more dreams and a couple times felt his presence - but if these things will happen again they will happen at unexpected time
Had a very lonely day today - I did go to my boxing class and later in the afternoon just to get out of the house I went swimming! All those things highligh that my Jack isn’t here - it is such a huge void inside me and at the same time I live this strange life I have now
Let’s wait and see how we cope tomorrow!!
Sadie xx
Dear Sadie
I haven’t had many dreams of my husband
I can count them on one hand
Dreams are special but very elusive aren’t they ?
I am sorry you have had a lonely day
Days like that are even harder than other days
Hope tomorrow will be less lonely
I have been helping my middle daughter get ready for her birthday bbq tomorrow at her house so that had taken up quite a bit of time today
I’m on my own with the dogs now but to be honest it’s nice to have some peace and a rest
I am very very tired these days
I think the events of the past 12 months have taken their toll on me
Sending much love
Romy xxxxx
Caught up with me xxxxx
I do try to hold onto this, but it’s becoming more challenging. #1stanniversarylooming
Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Alfred Lord Tennyson
Dear Romy
Isn’t it interesting that at the same I crave company I want to be left alone.
The other day someone I hardly know come over - o invited her because she had been so kind and thoughtful - after 1 hour inside me I kept saying ’ go home go home’ situations like this tire me!
Yes, yesterday was lonely and I did a lot of embroidery- this and the gym are god sent because they help me so much.
Romy, have you tried the Legrnds at cross fit? You will enjoy it
Take care
Sadie xxx
Dear Cristal
Grief is the price we pay for love
Sadie x
Hi Sadie
Its strange that you should say that about wanting company and then not. I am the same, at times I really could do with company and then sometimes when one of my neighbours calls I almost want her to go after a while. It’s very considerate and good of her to call but she’s and “half empty” person and sometimes I find her a bit gloomy, but she’s lonely I think and feels a bit neglected by her family… I don’t know why I feel like that but at least you feel the same so maybe it’s not unusual.
All we can do is try to move forward… Goodness knows how.
Hugs
Jx
June, I love your description of a “half empty” person! Since Jack died I have introduced some of these half empty people on my life - these are people I that have been kind and I make an effort to meet and talk so I am not alone
It is an odd time in my life
Hope your Sunday is good
Sadie x
You raise an interesting point. I find the same. Someone comes in for a ‘chat’ which often finishes as an ‘organ recital’ about their various aches and pains. It’s very difficult for visitors to know what to say so they fill the conversations with stuff that has little relevance to how you feel. I too often want them to go after a while. It may because we are so tired of trying to put on a brave face, because that in itself is tiring.
But let’s face it, and I’m not being unkind because they mean well, but some conversations are boring. You just have to nod and say yes or no but it goes on and on.
On a brighter note there are some friends I welcome and they could stay all day if they wished. Well, people are people, and as they say up North, ‘there’s nowt so funny as folk’. Blessings.
As I have no family, I’m often on my own but am better like this than having to entertain people I haven’t got patience with. I also find myself wishing visitors would leave, it’s not a good feeling. People are being kind but there are very few I can cope with.
I had a bad night. There was a noisy party over the road and then, later, there were horrendously loud fireworks. My cat was out and didn’t come in when I called her. By 1am I was sure she’d taken fright and wouldn’t come back. Then it poured hard.
I was so relieved when she finally appeared. It shocked me that I was so upset and how much I rely on her company. It brought back so many awful memories of the dreadful feeling of loss when Paul died.
I know there’s no comparison but it showed me how fragile my state of mind is.
Thanks for listening everyone,
X C
Chris, it must be very hard not to have a family. I do hope you have a couple very good friends but the reality having friends and family don’t take away our sadness and our hurt. Maybe I am wrong but I think that after a while they get a bit tired of our grief
Can you believe I am still in bed? Must move
Sadie xx
I am too alone and very isolated where I live, I am crying out for some company…I have even joined a U3A but with no transport I am finding this real hard in getting the only two men ( NeighbourCar ) who will come out so far, and they are not always available…I am litterely going crazy and all the time I am still looking at the armchair where my Richard passed away on that fateful morning-mid day…I am soon to be collected for my new church but the person taking me will not be available for next week, nor maybe the week after, I am truly trapped here without a car…and yes, i have contemplated the thought of ending it as even dealing with BT and the endless solicitor back in Bedfordshire, I am in Dorset, is frightening me…then the home will go on the market and I shall move, but to where, I have not a clue, not even a clue as to what type of property, I have my MS to consider…
Jackie…
Jackie…
Also still in bed! There have to be some advantages to being on my own and I can, however briefly, get some comfort from being here listening to the radio.
Have a relaxing day and hope something can give you a bit of contentment, however small,
X Chris
Dear Jackie - I would also feel crazy and depressed if I was alone all the time
Maybe contact Age Uk
Can your church help?
MS society?
I do feel for you and I send you love
Sadie x