Lost my husband

I am living in a kind of fog since my Peter died 18th Jan this year. Really struggling to adjust to being alone…no more joint decisions or mindless chat watching TV…so sad


Just wanted to say hello MrsHLB, and say I sympathise so much with how you are feeling - I lost my wonderful husband of 40 years on 7th January this year, a few short months after being diagnosed with cancer. I have never lived alone and although my family and friends have been amazing and I am genuinely grateful to them, it is so, so hard being without the person who loved and supported me like no-one else. At the moment, I can’t even cry - I just sit here staring into space or blankly at the tv. As you say, it’s just so sad. I don’t really have anything helpful to offer at the moment but please know that there are others who understand. Wishing you strength.


I am so sorry for your pain. I am told that time will help but I cannot see that at the moment. I stare blankly too…not sure how to live a life without him. We will struggle through and create some kind of existence without our wonderful hubbies. X


Hi HLB and AnnC
I am truly sorry for the loss of the love of your life’s it is just so overwhelming .
I just go from one day to the next crying screaming asking for it not to be true but sadly it is .
We will all go through this in our own way and time what is right for one person might not work for someone else all we can do is try and support each other and god willing this pain will ease in time and all the beautiful memories we all have will fill the emptiness that we are left with please take care and be kind to your selfs .


Dear MrsHLB,

You are suffering the worst thing that can happen to you, but you are not alone. You have space here to grieve . I wish I could say it will get better but in my experience, it’s going to be a long haul.
Keep talking, allow yourself time and don’t let anyone tell you what’s best for you.
X Tilly

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Lost my husband 7weeks ago after 56years marriage i am really struggling with the loss

I don’t think there’s any answer to this pain. My husband died 4 weeks ago, just writing that makes me cry. I hope you can get some solace from here.

There’s no one to share with but what’s worse is there’s never going to be. I don’t want to get old without him.

This is not much help to you I’m afraid, but you’re not alone,

Love from Tilly


Hello, Pammi. I am so sorry to read about your loss. My husband died last June. We had been married for 66 years so I have some idea how you are feeling. I am struggling too and my family seem to have stopped supporting me even though they only live a few miles away and each have two cars. I find living alone is a nightmare but there isn’t any choice for me. We were always together and I miss him so much that when I go to bed each night I pray that my dodgy heart will stop while I am asleep. I know that is dreadful, and I would never take my own life deliberately. I have had one counselling session with Cruse, after waiting four months on their list. A very nice lady and I found it a comfort to be able to talk freely to her. I am having 6 sessions, one a week, so am hoping that it will do some good. The situation we are all in on here is awful but at least we can express our feelings to one another. I wish I could offer some advice to help you but I am in the same boat. Keep posting if it helps. Warm regards. Eileen


Hi Eileen Thank you so much for replying to me , I am sorry for your loss of 66 years its a long time to be with one person, I know how I feel after 56years just wish we could have gone together it isn’t a life without him I am just a zombie at the moment. I understand about the family I have one daughter Jacqui and I see her every three weeks for a few hours, havnt got many friends as Colin and myself was all that we needed. done everything together as I am sure you and your Husband did., but it is that goodnight kiss the companionship everything is gone and that is heart breaking, we must move on but how? I do hope things will get easier for you I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers please reply how you are when you are ready… Take care warm regards Pammi

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I lost my husband of nearly 32 years on 20th January. It was his funeral today. It’s very hard isn’t it.

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Yes FrancesHazel, it is unbearable and you must be feeling exhausted this evening after such a difficult day. I lost my own husband on 7 January, so not long before you and I am frequently told by those further along the ‘journey’ that it is early days for us and that the pain will become easier in time. I have to believe they are right as I don’t know how I could go forward otherwise. Look after yourself x

Thank you AnnC I do hope they are right too because this level of pain is very hard to bearxx

I didn’t realise you had lost your husband the same day as I did. I’m thinking of you,

yes it is very hard, my Husband passed in Dec after being married 56years and don’t know how to cope, You are in my thoughts . It does help to know you are not on your own but it still hurts so bad, Warm Regards Pammi x

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Hi Tilly. Yes, a month ago today. Longest month of my life. Still can’t remotely get my head round it.
Take care of yourself.
Ann x

Hello, Pammi. You and your husband sound just like me and mine. We were always together and had few friends. This of course makes it even harder when you lose your loved one. I am still depressed after eight months but the Counseller from Cruse told me that it is far too soon to be thinking about getting over it. Sometimes I just don’t want to get out of bed in the morning to face yet another lonely day, but life has to go on and I am making a big effort to find outside interests. Not easy but I cannot stand spending hours alone in my flat. I just wish I could wave a magic wand over all of us to make things better. Look after yourself and take care. Warm regards. Eileen

Hi Ann,
I don’t think it’s possible to get our heads round this, it’s all so unreal. Honestly, I don’t think I even want to .
I just want to curl up and then somehow he’ll come back. I don’t think I exist on my own. What can we do? No one has any answers. How many more months can I survive,

Another day tomorrow, perhaps there’ll be a glimmer of hope,

Love , Tilly

I know, I really do. I feel so exhausted with it all, the emotional strain is taking a massive toll on me now and the pain just gets worse every day. I just long to be with him and have my old life back. I would give anything.
Take care of yourself,

I think that just about sums up how we are all feeling, Ann. I would give anything to hear him say “what’s for dinner, Eileen?”
Or “What are we doing today?” I long so much to be with him, and the ache inside me gets worse each day. I just hope that my Cruse Counseller is right when she said that 8 months is early days to recover from such a loss. He was my world and I will never be the same again without him. Warm regards. Eileen

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Ann and Virgo,

I can’t believe that the world can continue with all this grief.
All we have is eachother to lean on, so we’ll do that,

Hugs, Tilly

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