Lost my husband

My husband died on Sunday. It was a very short illness and I’m devastated. I feel robbed that I didn’t get to spend more time with him. He was so poorly in the last few days but they were sending him home to be with us. He died before they could bring him home and I feel ive been cheated and didn’t get to spend his last hours with me. My daughter has flown home from the US Airforce and I feel like I’m in a bubble, just waiting and dreading the funeral and my daughter leaving. I know it’s early days

Hello, So sorry for your loss and the way it has left you feeling.Such a pity he didn’t get home to be with you, my heart goes out to you… I wouldn’t let the hospice have my husband he stayed with me and died with me holding his hand in November. However believe me this is also traumatic, so I think however we lose our much loved ones we still have to struggle. I too dreaded my husbands funeral, I didn’t think I would even be able to go, such was my despair. I had family members hanging onto me, so that I couldn’t get up and run. I wanted to disappear and let no one share or see my grief as I don’t usually cry in front of people. He had a simple service at the Crematorium. It was a celebration of his life and was to be his day. There was to be no goodbyes. The man who did the service was quite amazing his voice alone calmed me down as he read the things I had written (couldn’t do it myself). The music was my husband singing. He was a singer for thirty years and I found a CD among his things which I didn’t even know he had. I imagined him on stage, fit, well and smiling as he sang to us. The whole service turned out to be quite beautiful (if you can call a funeral that) I have had so much complimentary feedback. I got through it although now it’s a blur. But one thing I can say is that I stared at the coffin and realised that he wasn’t really there. I know I would have connected with him if he had of been. Friends who understand the spirit world have assured me he wasn’t there and he would have known what was happening. I do so hope he was watching, I draw comfort from that. Everything is such a worry to you at the moment. Slowly deal with what you have to, don’t be afraid to have a good cry. It’s still raw for me so I can’t say that it will get better, although I keep being told this by friends. I just take my time and pat myself on the back each time I do something which I don’t think I’m going to be able to cope with. One thing I do is keep busy, so that I can’t sit and mope. God bless… .

Thank you so much for your kind words. It’s nice to read of your experience even though it’s still raw for you and I appreciate you sharing it. God bless you too xx

Thank you so much for your kind words. It’s nice to read of your experience even though it’s still raw for you and I appreciate you sharing it. God bless you too xx

Oh you poor love! This is a terrible time, awful - the worst ever - and you need to take one day at a time and just keep on going. I’m so sorry for your loss, there is no “right way” to grieve and we are all different, you will cycle through some strong emotions and it will be tough but you can deal with it all and come out the other side, just be kind to yourself and accept help when it is offered. One day at a time. Xx

Thank you so much for your kind words. I really appreciate it xx