Lost my mom

Hello,
I recently lost my mother and it’s been really difficult. My mother and I were like best friends and she was only in her 50s. I’m currently in my early 20s and it sucks that my mom won’t be here to celebrate my future milestones with me. I’m graduating college next month, and I’m not excited at all. It’s hard to care when the world is in such a bad place right now. Trying to complete school work, live through a pandemic, apply for jobs, and properly grieve my mom has just been a lot. Can anyone tell me if it gets easier? better? I just need some kind of hope. :frowning:

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Hi Summer. Welcome. I’m genuinely sorry about your tragic loss. A big hole in your heart and so many thoughts running round in your head. It’s not much use me telling you it does get better, not at the moment. It’s too early and your emotions are raw. Please let your emotions have free rein. Never ‘bottle up’ emotions. I’m not saying just burst into tears when out, that may happen, but private grief is totally acceptable. Never be ashamed about how you feel.
Ask yourself what your dear mom would have wanted. You are young and have your life before you. You will NEVER forget but the pain does ease. Try and accept how you feel. Don’t fight or struggle with emotions. Grief is a process we go through. It’s very very hard and at times almost unbearable at first. But, given time, you will have fond memories to cherish.
Be kind to yourself as well as others. Let time pass with acceptance in your heart. Difficult? Oh yes, but it’s the only way.
Blessings. John.

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Summer2k2,
I lost my Dad nearly 20 years ago and my Mum nearly 7 months ago. I learned to cope with the loss of my Dad and occassionally I’d even forget the aniversary of his death. Life does go on. We learn to live without them.
With the loss of my Mum of course I’m struggling badly, but I’m hopeful that one day contentment will come.
You are likely to feel raw for a long time and the pandemic is a severe strain.
I strongly believe it will get better.

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Such wise words, Daffy, Thank you.
Dear Summer2k2,
I am so pleased that you found this forum, I am very sorry to read about the loss of your mom, she was so young. I understand that in time it does get better, this heartrending physical pain. I am 8 months on from losing my beloved husband, I can’t say that I feel any better yet, I am looking forward to the day that I do feel better.
It is very hard on you that your dearly loved mom, won’t see any of your milestones, but I really believe that in Spirit she will be by your side cheering you on.
Take good care of yourself and stay safe from this horrible virus.
Blessings,
MaryL

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Hi John,

Thank you for your sweet words! Whenever I do feel emotional I try to embrace those feelings and let it out. Thanks for being so honest.

Hi Mary,
Thank you for your kind words. I am sorry to hear about your husband. I do feel as though my mom is here with me in spirit and cheering me on. I am also looking forward to the day that I can feel “normal” again and appreciate things in life. Thanks again!

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Hi Daffy,
So sorry to hear about your parents. Thank you for the kind words. Yes, the pandemic is a huge strain and it’s exhausting to look at the news and see all the terrible news 24/7. I believe it will get better too, I just wish I knew when. Thank you again!

Summer, I’m sorry I forget to say sorry for you loss. Take care

Hi Summer2k2,
Although I’m older than you, I’m turning 30 this year, my mum was in her 50s too. It’s still very raw, lost her 11 days ago, but I’m trying to find my own way of coping and grieving. I’m not one to talk about my feelings, but I am acknowledging them and reaching out to my inner strength. As someone else mentioned, think what your mum would have wanted for you. I’m thinking of completely resetting my life when I’m ready, start from scratch. I know my mum will be with me and support me through every step.
You can contact me anytime, you’re not alone.

Hi Sanjab,

Thank you for the post! I’m sorry to hear about your mom. I can totally relate. Losing a parent feels like having your life restarted. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, so do what feels best for you. I am definitely going to try and think about what my mom would want for me, even though I miss her so much. Thank you for your advice.

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