I am new to this community but I wanted to find a place where I can communicate with people who understand the pain and grief I am going through.
My mother recently passed away. She was 83 years old but she unfortunately went through a lot of suffering in her final days. She initially was diagnosed with myasthenia in 2022, which is an autoimmune disease where the muscles get weaker. She was stabilised relatively well in France where we were living. Now we came back to the UK in Dec 2023. Her condition seemed to shift to another disease. Heart failure, which had with it other complications. She suffered in hospital and I saw her recently in the hospital bed, passed away. It was so hard to see. I can’t seem to get the image out of mind. I had fought for her health all the way back in 2022 (actually 2021 if you consider covid too), and all I wanted was an improvement in her condition with a simple garden, coffee and place where she could be happy. I can’t get back any good memories, only faint ones. No dreams, nothing. I feel very depressed. My body feels tired too from the shock.
Has anyone been through something similar? What can you tell me about it?
Thank you for bravely reaching out. I’m so sorry to hear about your mother. You are not alone. I’m not sure if you’ve seen our Losing a parent category. But there you will find lots other members sharing their experiences of living with grief after losing a parent.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support to you. In the meantime, you might find these Sue Ryder resources helpful to read.
Our Losing a parent page talks through some of the emotions you may be experiencing
Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
I can relate. My Grandma died in February 2025. I initially felt prepared, but then it really hit me a couple of months later.
It probably didn’t help when I asked Mum about what Grandma’s views on assisted dying were. Granny and Grandad (my grandparents on Dad’s side of the family) would’ve been against assisted dying, because they were extremely devout Catholics, but Grandma wasn’t religious. During the discussion that ensued (which implied that Grandma wasn’t against assisted dying), I learned that Grandma had been in pain prior to her death. She was prescribed painkillers towards the end of her life, but there were issues with the dosage.
I later concluded that I should never have asked that question about Grandma’s views on assisted dying. It only upset me more.
