I lost my beautiful, clever and funny mum on Sunday. ( Mother’s Day) She was 93 and had dementia. I had been her full-time carer for a number of years. She had recently moved to a nursing home and had been very happy. She suddenly got a chest infection and fluid on the lungs and deteriorated rapidly. She was an incredibly loving mother and we were so close particularly when I was a child. I am bereft now and find myself crying out for her like a young child. I am finding it the grief unbearable.
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So Sorry for your loss, 
we are all here for you. So many lovely people on here who will offer advice, comfort and an understanding of the emotions you are feeling.
Write whenever you feel the need, keep reaching out. You’re not alone
Thank you. I try to focus on her long and happy (albeit painful with an incredibly arthritic hip) life and can’t bear the fact that she wasn’t given enough morphine as regularly as the dosage permitted because the nurse was worried it wouldn’t last the weekend and would run out completely) to make her last hours pain-free. I watched my beautiful Mum die and will never forget it.
That’s awful, it’s absolutely awful that medication is withheld for fear of “running out” when somebody needs it, I’m sorry this happened to your mum.