Lost my mother so suddenly.

Losing a parent
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I lost my mum unexpectedly on the 28th of March 2023. She was just 49 years young.

She is my best friend and I just feel so lost without her, knowing it’s fast approaching a year since she grew her angel wings I still at the stage of struggling to come to terms with reality and I still feel like I’m living a nightmare.

Every time reality hits and I deep the fact that she’s really not coming back it hits as hard as the day I lost her and my floods of tears drastically flow…the fact I didn’t get to say a “proper” goodbye to her and being an only child I had to do everything on my own…funeral arrangements; being a mother myself, no one else (silbling wise) to understand what happened together.

I’ve been only surrounded by people that still have their mums alive telling me “it’s okay” “you’re doing so well” “she’ll be so proud of you”
But these things don’t matter to me, if anything it annoys me; like how could they possibly know what it’s like when they haven’t even experienced it for themselves yet, but I know that seems so selfish of me. I feel so envious of people that still have their mums.

It’s my first major personal experience with grief, yes I’ve lost other members of my family, to old age or other health issues but I’ve not been as close to anyone in my family like I have my mum; she was the only one to get me, to understand, always fought my corner.

What’s crazy to me is the one person I’ve wanted to speak to about this whole ordeal is my mum, and it breaks me knowing I can’t, I’m just left with the “things she would say” in this situation.

What I want is to know I’m not alone, that my experiences aren’t just what I’m only going through, does it get better when the one person who is your entire world and you are hers is now gone forever, there’s no going back no matter how hard I wish🥺

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Hello @MariahJane

I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t offer and tips I’m afraid as I’m completely consumed with grief. I lost my mother in Novemebr and my dear dad just 2 days ago.

I just wanted you to know I saw your post and sending my best wishes. Rob x

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Hi @MariahJane I’m so sorry for your loss. I just want you to know that your feelings are valid and you are not alone. Look into this group and see how numerous we are, though we grief differently, but we can relate with you. I particularly feel this way a year ago when my mom suddenly died, it was my first closest grief ever. I still feel a lot of pain but it’s less physically painful than before. So hang in there, process your grief your own way, don’t be too hard on yourself, live the day as it comes and come here when you need a virtual shoulder to cry on, Take care. xoxo

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Hello @MariahJane, yes, the cruelest part of losing our mums is that after her death is when we need her the most. My heart goes out to you.

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This has honestly brought tears to my eyes as I feel so similarly about my own mum. It’s been 4 years for me, it’s very hard but it does slowly improve although for me I had to have some help with antidepressants after 18 months as I wasn’t coping. Do what you need to do to get by, if it’s medication or counselling etc then whatever it takes to get you through this life changing loss. Unfortunately people don’t understand unless they have experienced a loss of the same magnitude.

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