Lost my Mum a year ago and not getting better

I lost my Mum a year ago on the 12th and it’s been very hard with many tears. It would have been her birthday on the 23rd so another sad day. I find there are many days when I just sit and stare into space with a totally vague feeling. People say it gets easier but if I’m honest it just seems to get worse and I feel so lonely. I’m trying not to go to the doctors as I feel I’m probably no different but don’t know how to cope with life without her.

Hi, so sorry to hear this.
Losing a parent is life destroying and unless you’ve been through it you just dont understand.
The pain is indescribable.
The hardest thing is that everyone elses lives just carry on and you are stuck in this bubble of grief.
I feel your pain

Hi, it’s so so hard when you lose someone you have loved for such a long time. Having had your Mum’s first anniversary this month as well as her birthday coming up next week, means the memories just flood in and knock you sideways. Hence the many tears. Many people experience this and worry so, when feeling worse after time has passed. I did and I reached out for help. I am currently receiving bereavement counselling. You maybe able to self-refer via Wellbeing or MIND, if you’d rather not approach your GP. Talking therapy is just one of the options available. It might be worth looking into.
There’s a lot of experience, advice and kindness here, at your fingertips. Keep posting. Wishing you some lighter moments today, kind regards, x

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Hi, just wanted to add that I hope I didn’t upset you when mentioning talking therapy in my earlier post. It’s not easy and it’s not for everyone. Asking for help is seen as a positive…take care, x

No problem, thankyou x

Dear Paul,

I know exactly how you are feeling, i lost my mother in June 2007, the first year for me was very difficult, but over time I began to evaluate what had happened. And now I truly believe my mother, still, to this very day has a huge amount of influence over my life, I know we’re she here she would be telling me to be the life force that unfortunately she can no longer be, what I would say is this, live for the moment, allow whatever feelings you have to express themselves. In time, you will begin to see that life has to go on, the journey is hard, but you will come through it, stay strong.

All the best.


I read this and I totally understand where you are coming from. You must be kind to yourself … it’s still really early days and loosing a parent is so hard ! I lost my mom at a similar age and I remember the pain. It took a long long time but I got there in the end. Recently I have lost my brother and it’s all come spinning back BUT this time I know I will get through it. You will be ok … it just takes time and ideally support. Hang in there x

Hi Paul

Isn’t it the pits :frowning:

I’m sorry you are struggling but reaching out here is a positive step. Nilesh’s words struck me as they have before. I am sure your mum would be proud of you for facing the problem and reaching out for help.

My mum died May this year and my dad May 17. My life is going on but the rollercoaster of emotions is so dramatic.

Keep talking on here. It helps me.

Personally I am taking one day at a time over Christmas and not expecting too much of myself. Be kind and patient with yourself, no doubt how your mum was with you.

Ann x