Lost my mum and dad

Losing a parent
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I lost my mum in 1981, I was a child and struggled with what I thought was grief but being 15 there was a lot to get on with including looking after my eldest sister and of course my das. School work took my mind off what had happened. I took on the role of housekeeper while dad and my sister were at work. I did not mind it was the way it happened. Then 4 years ago I lost my dad to dementia but this time it was so different I watched him take his last breath and with that my world seem to fall apart. I struggle with the thought of not hearing his laugh or his voice. Experience tells me they will disappear from my head and I don’t want that to happen. I miss both of them so much and there is so much of mum I can not remember. Grieving for Dad is a completely different feeling from mu and I am sure its because i am an adult rather than a child. I have a great husband and two girls who have surrounded me with love

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Hello @Reggie ,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling the combined loss of your parents and you are fearful that memories of them will slip away. I’m so sorry to hear about your parents. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

Alex

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Hi Reggie From one adult orphan to another, I couldn’t pass by without responding to your post.
I too am without my Mum and Dad. My Dad passed first 24 years ago and my Mum more recently in 2021. I can totally relate to what you said about watching your Dad take his last breath as I did that with my Mum but my Dad died when I was in my early twenties and sadly, I wasn’t there. You were a child at 15 so could not begin to comprehend or totally understand what the impact losing a parent would have on your future. My husband was also 15 when his Mum passed away. Anyway sorry to digress I just wanted to say that this is exactly what I panic about from time to time, which is forgetting my Mum. Her being a distant memory as, like you, experience tells me that they become so far away but I’m hoping I won’t as it’s very recent and I’m an adult. Not sure if this helps you or not but my husband says that by time I get to that point, I will be old myself and nearer to seeing them (if life plays out correctly) as opposed to middle aged now and looking back.
Like you I have a great husband who loves me and helps me navigate my journey because he understands. Sometimes though I get scared that I will struggle to remember them. I miss them terribly, this time of year makes it worse I think.