My mum passed away 3 months ago, very unexpectedly and I had to give cpr, which unfortunately didn’t work and I heard and felt her rib crack ! I do see some comfort in the fact she was diagnosed with dementia in 2021 and she was slowly deteriorating but she knew us and knew how much she was loved before she left us so that does bring me comfort knowing she won’t have to forget us and suffer but lately all I can think about is death and all my loved ones dying the anxiety and panic is ruining my life to the point I don’t want to be here anymore. Has anybody else been through this and got through it to be able to go on with their life’s because it seems to be getting worse every day and I don’t know how much more I can take
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Hi
I really think from reading your message that you should contact your doctor my lovely. You sound very down and im not sure a few sympathetic messages on here will be enough to help you at the minute. Please talk to family or friends who are closer to you, maybe there is someone who could go to the doctors with you. Your coping with a lot, please dont do this alone. 
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Thankyou for replying I am currently under the doctors and the mental health team because I know I need help it just feels so overwhelming and permanent this feeling
Well done for being brave enough to realise you need the help and reaching out. You dont need to go through this alone, i really hope you get the help you need my lovely. Big hugs❤️
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hello struggling1, you’re still in shock from the loss of your mum. you were next to her trying to save her life with your own hands. that will cause mental stress to anyone. flashbacks interfere with your daily activities and sleep. i still have flashbacks of my mum dying in my hands. i don’t think it will ever go away. but we have to let ourselves heal; some cry, some go in hiding, and some write journals. whatever works to help us gain the strength and courage to live with our loss is good. our mums would want us to heal and find whatever happiness we can find and experience with whatever time we have left in this world. let yourself heal; be good to yourself. my heart goes out to you.
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